Michelle beat herself up in her sleep and now has a black eye. Totally normal… I do that ALL the time!
The girls sit around and wait for the first date card. It goes to Chantal! The date card reads, “How deep is your love?” They might be making another movie… Just a guess.
Chantal gets picked up by a helicopter – 1st of the season! She kind of reminds me of a Molly Mesnick… Anyone agree? A very pretty and down to earth girl… Brad is very excited for this. He has been waiting to take Chantal on a date for SO long. A whole week! He also brought a wine cooler with him.
This underwater adventure is not my cup of tea. It looks kinda freezing outside and I’m not a fan of deep sea adventures. Those helmets might be even scarier than the deep sea aspect of the date. The nighttime aspect of the date is much more appealing to me. Although their conversations seem pretty bland, I suspect that the producers are downplaying this date. Each of their 1-on-1 camera time leads us to believe that the date was perfect.
Chantal apologizes to Brad for slapping him on the first night. The don’t show us the part where she says, “I’m sorry. The producers obviously made me do that!” Brad feels like his date with Chantal is JUST like any day in his normal life. Yes, me too. I walk on the ocean floor every morning.
Back at the crack-pad, Michelle is admitting that she probably hit herself in her sleep. She also lets everyone know that she isn’t eating or sleeping. Just my opinion, but I think you’re certifiable. She also tells us that she doesn’t like Chantal because she is loud, hard and headstrong. Oh, okay. And what are you?
Brad’s regular therapist is booked for the day, so he takes the group date ladies to see Dr. Drew and be on his show, “Love Line.” Pretty shitty date if you ask me. I’d rather avoid Brad’s therapy sessions. Luckily the producers knew how boring this date would be and decided to give them a few cocktails beforehand. Great call, always thinking!
Britt, who is trying out for the Tangled sequel after the Bachelor, gets really sappy with Brad. Stacey comes clean that she cheated on one boyfriend in college because she was drunk. She’s the only one? C’mon… I call BS.
Lisa – PRODUCT. Use some product please. A little Moroccan Oil never hurt anyone.
After the radio tour, the girls get in their bikinis for yet another pool/hot tub party. The theme of the evening is stealing Brad away from each other. Luckily for the viewers, Dr. Drew really revved up their inner nutjobness.
Ashley H. loses it and decides to drink herself stupid. She’s become bitchy and emotional. She also has stopped eating I think. Just an observation…
Brad calls Ashley H. out for being a psycho and gives the rose to Britt instead because they have good kisses. Just to remind everyone – Britt is a food writer. Not a critic. That would involve eating, which clearly she has no part of.
The next morning is MICHELLE’S DAY. Not to be confused with Michelle’s birthday. This is just her DAY. Ashley apologizes to Brad outside and removes herself from the Psycho Bitch Michelle category. Inside, Chantal gives Michelle a little piece of her mind. I’m currently designing my Team Chantal shirt.
Brad pulls out the 2nd helicopter of the week and when they land on a tall building, Michelle gets ready to use the barf bag. Hey Michelle, if you want to go to dinner down there, we have to repel our way there. We also have to hunt down our food first. Just kidding…
Brad and Michelle take a huge LEAP OF FAITH and repel themselves down the LA building. Little does Michelle know that there are people inside that building trying to get through their normal work day. Talk about looking out your window and saying WTF.
They finally land and Brad is so relieved to take off the harness that is squishing his man stuff. Can someone tell me why people always jump in pools with their clothes on? It’s annoying. And you both have great bodies. Just take your clothes off. Brad falls victim to the hot girl syndrome and gives Michelle a rose.
Therapy session! Shocker. Brad needs to talk. He’s having a really hard time kissing and connecting with so many women. Reminder: You signed up for The Bachelor.
A few girls are nervous at the cocktail party. Lindsay Lohan is one of them. Yes, probably because you haven’t spoken to Brad yet. Meghan has a wall up. Probably because you haven’t spoken to Brad yet either. Sorry. I smell no roses for both of you.
Brad gives Emily a date in a goody bag because he thinks she deserves more than a 1-on-1 convo at a cocktail party. Ouch… The other girls don’t? Emily tells Brad that she left her daughter notes for her lunchbox. My mom still does that.
Not surprised - Stacey, Lindsay Lohan and Meghan don’t get roses. Stacey thought this ceremony was a “No Pants” party and unfortunately, Brad likes pants.
Who are your favorites this week? Is Ashley H. almost as crazy as Michelle? Are you team Michelle or Chantal? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! See you next week!
No comments:
Post a Comment