Monday night therapy is back! This episode looks pretty emotional from the previews, so I’ve already prepped dinner and poured myself a hefty glass of wine to avoid any distractions.
Ashley S. gets the first date card and lets us know that she really wants Brad to kiss her. Well, I think you’re in luck! His track record is pretty on-point when it comes to making out. Just sayin’. Michelle is pissed. Brad needs a WOMAN, not a girl. Did you know it was her birthday last week? She’s 30 now.
Ashley gets so nervous for her karaoke date with Brad, you’d think she was performing at the Superbowl. Calm down. This is supposed to be fun. [I’m secretly SO jealous of this date. I love singing, love karaoke, and think I have talent that I probably don’t.]
This date is cute and I do really like Ashley, but she seems like she’s 15. It’s actually uncomfortable watching her and Brad… I keep thinking that he could be her Daddy… Or her older brother… Teacher… I don’t know, just old.
I can’t believe Seal signed up for this. Someone must have tricked him. Hey Seal, you’re going to be making a “Best Of” album in the studio today. APRIL FOOLS! This is for The Bachelor!!!!
Ashley tells Brad about her Dad. This is now “Girl With Daddy Issues # 2.” Date gets emotional. Brad gets teary eyed. The end. Rose.
Michelle finds out that she’s on the group date with 11 other girls and she is PISSED. This is becoming a theme. Michelle – Are you aware how the Bachelor works? You know that you signed up for a show where you compete with 29 other girls for ONE guy, right? Okay cool, just checking.
The 12 girls are told to dress in neon workout clothes that make them look as boob-tastic as possible. Luckily ABC has decided to switch up the dumb soap opera filming dates and doing an action film! Oh wait, I spoke too soon… This sucks too. At least Brad isn’t wearing fake chest hair.
Um… WHAT is Alli wearing? Do you actually work out in that or is it a Halloween costume? That is what girls who wanna get “picked up” at the gym wear. #sleazeball
Michelle says something about wishing the other girls would be kidnapped, bag over their heads, and brought to the desert. Cool, Michelle. That’s totally normal. She also demonstrates (again) what the fireworks will look like when her and Brad share their first kiss. I’m not sure what’s worse – her fireworks display or the “I got a rose” dance?
Pool party! Bikini time!
Chantal has her 1-on-1 time with Brad. I really like her. She cries, which I’d usually brutally make fun of, but it was kind of honest and cute? Anyone agree that she seemed genuine and not annoying? Chantal is also named “Girl With Daddy Issues # 3.”
Michelle creeps in on Alli’s 1-on-1 time, Shawntel gets the rose, and Michelle lets us know that she is ready to practice making babies with Brad.
Back at the house, Emily lets the girls know about her back story. She’s the cutest thing ever. Everyone’s crying… even the Vampire. Can Vampires cry? I need to read up on my Twilight.
Emily’s date starts off awkward. Brad is surprised that Emily has only had one serious boyfriend… Not that weird Brad, she’s only 24. You have 14 years on her.
In the barn (so romantic, BTW), Emily tells Brad her story. Great date. Love her. Almost cried. Rose.
Brad gets a visit from his therapist. Oh Jesus. This is getting to be too much. Brad – You do not need therapy. You need a break from Reality TV. Take it from me.
Rose Ceremony!
Alli wrapped herself up like a present for Brad. I guess it’s better than when she dressed up like an exercise dominatrix? Oh joy! Alli has DADDY ISSUES! Alli is “Girl With Daddy Issues # 4.”
Chantal’s dress, woof. Chantal and Brad talk about something, but I’m too distracted by the close-up boob shot that the cameras gave us… for 7 long seconds. Michelle interrupts. I really had confidence in Chantal knockin’ the bitch out… but no.
Michelle’s 1-on-1 is totally frustrating. She’s definitely the token lunatic. Michelle let’s Brad know that they’re in a fight. Grow up, Psycho-Pants.
Madison takes her fangs out and gets real. She’s not sure if she should stay. Brad sees her side boob squirting out of her dress, and he’s sure.
Brad tells Ashley H – “Let’s give this an HONEST SHOT.” Yes, Brad. Let’s give this an honest shot… On “The Bachelor.” Yes, honest shot.
During the rose ceremony, Madison leaves. Brad is sad, but kind of relieved that she hasn’t bit him. Bye bye Madison! Better luck with the Cullens!
Rose ceremony – All duh’s! I bet Brad wishes he had 3 less roses and didn’t have to give them to Meghan, Lindsay Lohan and Stacey. Unfortunately, Brad just didn’t know that Kimberly was beautiful, fun, funny, smart and awesome! In her words, f**k Brad! Whoa Kimmie… calm down over there. And Sarah, so long! Who are you?
This week was a little too emotional for me, no? Are you all in love with Emily too? How do we feel about the Ashley’s? Any early favorites? Let me know what you think! Love seeing the comments.
Forgot to comment last week, was quite busy! Agree with everything you said to a tee. Here are some other things I noticed.
ReplyDeleteWe know every girl wants to kiss him, but the fact that they are all saying it out loud annoys me. Don't you want it to just happen romantically? Seems like they are too busy planning out the perfect kiss in their head. DUMB.
Michelle has officially gone off the deep end. I know you haven't watched all of the seasons but she is reminding me a bit of "Crazy Stalker Trish" from Jesse Palmer's season. Seriously with the cutting in on people's one-on-one time? I know this is a competition, but you look so desperate. Scratch that, you are on the Bachelor so desperate is kind of a prerequisite. Also, you're acting like a 5 year old. Did you get your tips from your daughter?
I LOVE Emily. That is all.
What is with these girls boobs popping out everywhere? Chantal, Madison, (and last week, everything that Raichel wore was 3 sizes too small). Gross.
I'm ready for house drama. Remember Vienna vs. the World? That was great television. Let's get some of that in here.
I'm obsessed with Emily... but unfortunately I think she's going to be that "I need her to open up to me" girl until the end and then Brad most likely wont choose her anyway because he's "not sure if he'll ever see her really take down her walls".
ReplyDeleteBachelor over... the end Chantel wins.
Surprisingly, Ashley S isn't THAT young - she's 26. There are younger girls - she's just immature. That karaoke date looks anything BUT fun, she got screwed.
ReplyDeleteI actually really liked Madison and there's no denying she's absolutely gorgeous.
Sarah's final interview was all wrong. She was LIMPING in those heels and that mascara running down her face - oy!