Enough about Bentley!

Bentley is just like that stupid ex-boyfriend that your friend will never stop harping on. And you have to listen, because it’s your best friend. Well, Ashley, we aren’t your best friend and we’re really sick of hearing about Bentley. PLEASE STOP!!!!

Chris Harrison pops into the mansion to let the guys know that they’ll be leaving the house and heading to Thailand. I can’t believe how quickly they leave the mansion these days! A few quick observations – Mickey looks nice in glasses, much more toned down. Ryan definitely touched up his frosted tips. I think he uses hair mascara. And Nick looks like he hasn’t slept in ages. His bags under his eyes are brutal.

All of the guys get packing because they only have two hours! Hurry! Quick! Put on your deepest V-neck and let’s hit the road!

Ashley awaits the arrival of the men in Thailand, wearing a shirt that looks like it was partially eaten by an animal, tied up in an 80’s knot. Not my favorite outfit from Ashley. She must have had keratin treatment done to her hair, right? That Thailand rain was intense and she never had frizz.

Constantine gets the first date card. A little out of left field, no? I would have expected it to go to Ben F. or Ryan if I hadn’t read the spoilers beforehand. A little man tells Ashley and Constantine that they can’t go on their boat ride, so instead, they walk through Thailand and harass the locals. First stop: A clothing salesman who they think is a Buddha, asking him weird questions about love.

The faux-buddha tells them that love is not about winning. Um, yes it is. You’re on the Bachelorette. Love is absolutely about winning. Ask Charlie Sheen. WINNING!

The night part of their date is nice. If I didn’t know they were in Thailand, I would have sworn this was the same date on Catalina Island that Kiptyn/Tenley and Chantal/Brad have both been on. Constantine seems nice and normal… A little white rice though. To be honest, I barely paid attention to their conversation because I was too busy staring at Ashley’s turquoise ring. Luckily, my favorite fashion blogger Possessionista found it here.

Back at the house, JP is getting jealous when the other guys talk about kissing Ashley. Clearly, he’s a frontrunner. I’m praying that he doesn’t turn from the cute jealous guy into a total psychopath.

I really enjoyed the group date at the orphanage. I like seeing when the show does something positive, rather than ridiculous dates like a fake wedding or a flash mob. This is where we begin to see Ryan’s annoyance kick in. He thinks Ashley is really RAD, and he’s starting to piss everyone off. In the words of Brad and Emily, he’s “poking the bear.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if Lucas pulled out a shotgun on his ass.

Ben F. really grew on me on this date. Luckily he grew on Ashley too! The mural idea was really cool. I think him and Ashley had a good connection… They were very flirty and playful. I have a good vibe!

On the other hand, Blake is becoming THAT GUY. That guy who would rather focus on the annoying person in the house than focus on winning Ashley’s affection. Note to Blake: That guy never goes far. Get over your hatred of Ryan and move on.

I will say that I agree though. Ryan is annoying as shit. He’s always happy and “on.” He’s definitely taking high doses of Prozac. Last week, my manicurist told me that I’m always happy and smiling… I really hope I’m not like Ryan.

I also loved the one on one time between Ashley and JP – shocking, I know. I appreciate him asking when his next one on one date will be. She really does owe him a good one. Ashley definitely loves him. She thinks he’s the best kisser and calls his bald head sexy. He’s a clear frontrunner.

I’m so glad that Ben F. got the rose. I’m sure all of the other guys weren’t too happy when Ashley decided to give an Oscar acceptance speech pre-rose handout. And let everyone know that she was really developing feelings for him.

Time for the Robot Bash! Ames gets a date, but this isn’t new to him… He’s obviously spent time in Phuket… Twice. He’s done everything! I REALLY hope that Ames gets bombed on this date at some point. Like real sloppy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen on their daytime date. They paddle through the water. Correction: Ames paddles. Amesbot (Thank you Ashley Spivey for your fabulous nicknames again!) would never let the woman paddle. And then comes one of my favorite lines of the episode… “Navigating the caves is like navigating a relationship.” Right… Exactly what I thought!

Dinner time! PLEASE get Ames drunk. So boring! I’ll give Ames some credit… He asked good questions, the conversation was flowing, and he seems like a stand up guy. But they didn’t even kiss! He said they did something more intimate than kiss. Terrible excuse. That’s just what you say when you don’t get a kiss.

Time for the cocktail party! Ashley looks awesome… Love that dress. Ashley grills West about his deceased wife and I can’t help but feel for him. He seems like such a nice guy. Then she moves along to Lucas, who I really can’t take seriously. He reminds me of a combination of Jake, Brad and George Bush. Dislike! He is not a Southern Gentleman. He’s a Southern Loonie. Then Ryan explains to Ashley that he’s just a really happy guy. HEART! Ugh, simmer down Ryan. YOU’RE BURSTING WITH A LOT OF LOVE IN YOUR CHEST? Jesus Christ.

With that, Ashley says goodbye to West. And quickly. Don’t you think he deserved a walk out? That was rude. Watching him in the limo was tough… I hope he finds love… Or at least gets a shot at making out with all of the girls on Bachelor Pad 2.

So, what’d you think of this week’s episode? A little boring, right? Is Ryan making you vomit in your mouth a little bit too? Are we still all aboard the JP train? Leave some comments!