Brad chooses Emily!

Well it’s over… What a season! What a journey! I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. The episode kicked off in Capetown with Brad overlooking the ocean, pondering life and rockin’ a pair of man-pris. His family arrives and he screams for them to hurry up! Come up here! Then he cries. Such a pansy. Someone call the therapist.

Chantal arrives and I have a feeling that Mrs. Womack is going to like her – they both wear leopard! Chantal explains to his family that she knew she loved Brad after a lot of wine and going back to his hotel room. But they only talked! She also says that she thinks being with Brad in a hotel room in Costa Rica with free wine and food and cameras is the real world. No. The real world is slaving over the stove with the kids screaming and the dog pooping on the floor while Brad slugs a beer and watches football. Try that for real world.

All in all, great family date for Chantal. I think she did a good job.

Emily shows up with flowers – automatic points. She also got her hair dyed for the date. Super yellow! Without fail, Brad’s family asks about Little Ricki’s dad – Hmm… I wonder if the producers staged that. Everytime Emily tells her story, it’s just as sad to hear.

Brad and his brothers talk and they warn him that having a child isn’t fun and it’s hard work. Man, after the episode, I’m re-thinking kids. Brad loves that she’s a lady. It makes him not want to be a pig.

Emily is not as cuddly around Brads mom but she made her cry. 10 points. Emily leaves and it’s time to see what the Womacks think! His family thinks Chantal and Brad would date. Emily and Brad would jump head first into a life. Family chooses Emily.

Time for the much previewed shark date. Why would you make Chantal do this again? Make Emily try this. Cleavage suit! The puns are beginning to drive me nuts. “Test out the water before getting married.” Cheese. Later that night, Chantal gives Brad a message in a bottle. I almost forgot about the kindergarten craft projects. Brad calls Chantal Channy and I’m reminded of Channy from Jake’s season who spoke about her landing strip… good times!

Time for Emily’s last chance date! Too bad that Emily forgot her pants. Brad tells Emily multiples times how much his family loved her. AKA more than Channy. Emily spends their time together trying to scare Brad about how tough kids are. Can’t scare Brad – He asks to be Little Ricki’s father. Um, this is basically a proposal. The night continues and Emily is telling him again how un-fun being a parent is. Are you trying to lose? This is the worst last date ever. Brad thinks that he was knocked down and defeated. How dramatic of him.

The next morning, Brad looks out over the ocean and thinks. Topless. Emily wakes up with her hair and makeup done. Chantal does too. And she wears a sports bra. I call BS. I do not look like that when I wake up.

Neil Lane shows up and kind of looks like Brad’s therapist. The ring screamed Emily.

Time to crush Chantal’s hopes and dreams. Both girls look stunning I think. I miss the days when I didn’t know who was going to win. I used to get so excited to see who got out of the limo first. Chantal had to know it was going downhill when Brad started talking. He wasn’t the same. Brad wipes tears from her lips. I’d slap his hand off. She’s heartbroken. This is sad. She laid it all out there. I really really liked Chantal.

Brad says that he has a heavy heart about Chantal. But he sure isn’t pulling a Jason Mesnick. Doesn’t seem SO heavy to me.

Brad proposes to Emily like we all expected. Cue the crying. And the hugging. And the Neil Lane product placement. The end! Now they can live happily ever after! Or so we thought.

AFTR!

Chantal looks fabulous! And I was really impressed that she gave him a piece of her mind. She was definitely right that he was discounting their relationship. Obviously Brad was scared of Emily backstage. I’m sure Chantal’s new boyfriend didn’t appreciate this little sob session either.

Brad tells us that he is engaged to Emily. But he can’t speak for her. An engagement is mutual. How can Brad say that he can't speak for Emily? Ridiculous! Emily looks great. Glad that someone fixed her hair.

We’re made to think that Brad and Emily having issues 6 weeks into their engagement is crazy. This isn’t that shocking! You haven’t dated in public! Not that crazy! They also seem surprised that watching the show back was brutal. No kidding.

Emily pokes the bear. TMI. She also feels like a dime a dozen watching the show. You were on the Bachelor with 24 other girls. You’re lucky to be a dime a dozen.

Time for Couples Intervention 101! Molly and Jason are my favorite of these three therapy couples. She looks better than ever! Ryan and Trista are cool, but I don’t even think there were tabloids 7 years ago, so the advice is kind of irrelevant.

Well, that ends another crazy and dramatic season of The Bachelor. Thank you to all of the loyal readers who check out my blog weekly. Looking forward to the next season!