Where'd Frank get his t-shirt? Babies R Us?

Usually hometown dates are my favorites, but I must say… these were too cute and normal (mostly) to get a good chuckle from. With the exception of Kirk’s slaughtering father and braces momma, things were very plain this week.

We start out in Tampa, Roberto’s hometown. He lives in Charleston now, but I guess this is where he grew up and went to college? He told Ali to wear shorts because they were going to get active! She has no idea what he has in store. I guess the fact that Roberto played baseball at UT and they were going to the UT campus wasn’t a big enough hint for Ali. Moron.

Ali loves Roberto in his uniform. A lot. She’s jumping on him at every chance she gets… calling it “the sexiest thing a guy can put on.” Hmm… I prefer scuba gear, but whatever. Last week, Ali was nervous that her and Roberto only had chemistry but lacked the fun factor. Here it is!

Roberto’s family was fine. Not my favorite, but nothing to complain about. I was happy that when his Dad asked Ali about her goals, she talked about a career rather than falling in love and poppin’ out babies. His mom on the other hand… She needs a makeover. What’s up with the blue earrings to match the outfit?

Ali loves Roberto. The end.

Next up, we travel to The Cape. For the next 20 minutes, America will fall more in love with Chris L than any Bachelor in history. Anyone disagree? If so, you have no heart. Chris meets Ali on the beach with his dog Jenny. Who loves Jenny? I do!

I love Chris’s silly humor, mentioning that whales are having sex right there in the ocean. He’s such a sweetheart. I love every part of this date… from the beach, to playing house on the porch. Every time he talks about his mom, I tear up. It’s so genuine.

I’m going to go out on a limb here. If Chris doesn’t win Ali’s heart, he will be the next Bachelor. He’s completely won America over and we still have three weeks to go. His family is adorable, even the sister-in-law’s. Don’t even get me started on his dad. THE BEST. Chris’s father for President 2k12. Love him.

One small detail – Ali never thought about the similarity between him taking care of his mom and her taking care of her grandma? HELLO.

The whole date is so emotional, so cute, and just fab.

Kirk’s date is a little less cute. Maybe it’s the fact that Bambi and co. are all slaughtered and stuffed in his Dad’s basement? I don’t know. Since Kirk is from a DIVORCED family (gasp!), we get to meet his Dad, stepmom and little girl (who was she again?) first. His stepmom may or may not be a man. Just sayin’.

Dad says that he has never spent a whole day with one of Kirk’s girlfriends. Welp, I wonder why. Do you want to see my basement Ali? This reminds me of my Dad’s old line, “Hey, wanna see my ax collection?” which he’d pull out with my boyfriends growing up. The catch here, he was joking.

Confirmed. This is definitely creepier than Naomi’s mom having a bird funeral in Jason Mesnick’s season. It gets more and more awkward as they talk amongst the animals. The line of the day goes to Kirk’s step-sister, “Maybe she’ll say oooooh cool!” Yup… maybe she will.

I can’t help but feel really bad for Kirk. I wonder if he told Ali about the collection before the date. He had to have, right? I’m starting to recognize Kirk’s dad from somewhere. He looks like an 80’s pornstar. Anyone agree or am I just weird?

I appreciate that Kirk has a Mom’s House and Dad’s House. Shout out to all the divorced kiddies out there! Unfortunately, Kirk’s mom is a little weird also. I think she got her braces bands to match her blue eyeliner. #fail. BUT, his grandma seems to make a mean cheesy potato, so she gets a few points in my book.

It’s Frank’s date and the only thing I can focus on is his outfit. At first I think it’s the Capital V cardigan. But then I realize, no. It’s the scoop neck t-shirt. He’s a blabbering idiot on the boat tour and clear signs are pointing to a big disappointment coming.

At dinner, Frank unbuttons his cardigan which just makes the scoop neck T more prominent. WHAT is that? Did you wax and tan your chest too? Big failure on the wardrobe by Frank.

Ali clearly loves Frank. I really think that if we didn’t have a major douche moment coming from him next week that he might win. Unfortunately for Frank and his mini T, the previews say otherwise.

Kirk goes home and no one is surprised. Ali made sure to point out that it had nothing to do with his family, but Kirk knows that his Dad’s profession didn’t increase his chances by any means.

So, let’s get real. It’s going to come down to Chris and Roberto. Who is your favorite? I’m a fan of both, but I think Chris takes the win for me. Do you think she picks either of them? Leave some comments!