Do you REALLY accept this rose?

This week’s episode started off with each of the remaining men professing their love for Ali in a nice little recap montage. I was really tempted to fast forward through this, but refrained incase there was something juicy. Nope, nothing.

We then learned that Frank might still be in love with his ex girlfriend, Nicole. Well Frank, this is great timing! Jerk. He lets us know that he hasn’t spoken to her in months… clearly a drama queen. When Frank arrives at Nicole’s, she says “What is going on?!” I’d bet money that she knew exactly what was going on. She obviously had some warning on this intrusion – she was home, apartment was clean, hair was perfectly flat ironed, and her MAC face was painted on. THAT is what’s going on.

First impressions of Nicole – Nose. Nose. Nose. Nose. Oh wait, sorry I guess I should look beyond her nose? It’s not easy. She also looks about 17 and I’m pretty sure Frank is 30. Nice. Buzz’s girlfriend, woof. Nicole is also wearing yellow. Didn’t she get the memo that yellow is Ali’s color? OH NO SHE DIDN’T! Ali owns the rights to yellow. Check yourself.

Maybe Frank and Nicole met while he was working at Abercrombie as the manager and she was a high school employee. Just a guess…

Cut to Tahiti! Tahiti looks ridiculous and anyone says they weren’t researching vacations after last night’s episode is lying. Ali gets off the little boat and immediately gets lei’d by the welcoming committee. You all have sick minds, I’m talking about the floral necklace. We watch Ali frollick along the beaches in Tahiti and she does a huge hair flip. Anyone else notice that?

Roberto and Ali’s date begins with the token helicopter ride, courtesy of Tahiti tourism, and Ali is in a yellow bathing suit. Shocker. Roberto gets serious boob sweat so it’s obviously very hot there. They go to a heart shaped lagoon and make out for a while with 15 camera men around… how natural!

For their dinner, Ali is whipping out all of the stops to prove she is as hot as Roberto. Her outfit is screaming FANTASY SUITE HERE I COME! The suite card, courtesy of Harrison, is presented and shockingly enough, Ali accepts. There was no chance of her turning down a night with Roberto. I wonder what happened with their physical connection she keeps speaking so highly of.

Now it’s time for Chris’s date and he is rocking the pooka shell necklace, similar to Jake’s last season. It’s okay though because Chris is 100x cooler than Jake so he wins. Throughout the date, I kind of think he is too nice for her. Anyone else? They start to get hot and heavy on the boat, so finally they have a romantic connection. She better not pull out the friend card after that.

Ali’s bathing suit tag is hanging out her butt, could someone fix that? They’re both wearing water shoes… how cool. Not. Ali and Chris kill a bunch of oysters and find pretty pearls. I have to say, if Ali breaks Chris’s heart, I may vomit all over. He is the nicest person in the world.

Their dinner date is very relaxed. I think she’s more at ease with Chris and not trying so hard. I think that’s a bad sign because Roberto is more of a “challenge.” That’s fun for a little but long term – not so much. Fantasy suite – check! 2 for 2. You go girl.

Frank arrives – cue funeral music. He came to tell Ali that he’s leaving… Cmon Frank, that’s a long plane ride. Next time, send a post it or something. It’s a digital world now – breaking up with someone via computer is fine. Frank and Chris engage in the weirdest conversation this season. Chris says he is shocked, but looks like he popped 5 valium before this sit down. He’s completely sedated.

Frank says that something was holding him back from giving Ali everything that he could – maybe your tight tank tops? Cutting off your circulation? I don’t know.

Frank tells Ali that they need to talk. Her flower falls from her hair and everything is over. This conversation enrages me. Ali, you have known him for 3 weeks – shut up! You had two fabulous dates with perfect guys. Now you don’t have to stress about sending someone home. Calm down!

Ali gives her “I gave up everything to be here” speech and I don’t care. Sorry Ali, we do not feel bad for your ass. You get clothes, make up, fame, and 25 guys begging for your love. Cry me a river.

She tells Frank that she needs to go and deal with this somehow… Maybe she’ll invite Chris or Roberto back to her fantasy suite again? She’ll be fine. Luckily, you have two other guys at the same resort! You will prevail.

Frank keeps crying and crying and I can’t help but laugh at him.

Chris Harrison later asks the most stupid question ever – Is it Frank or his actions? WHAT? What kind of question is that? Is that a trick?

Luckily, Chris and Roberto ACCEPT her roses.

Okay, a few fun facts for the road – Next week at the MEN TELL ALL, it’s going to be real boring. Rated R isn’t there and neither is Frank. Talk about lame. I bet most of the show is focused on Kasey or something.

Also, this past weekend was the wrap party for the Bachelor Pad and many of the former Bachelor’s and Bachelorette’s attended. I’ve found a bunch of pictures online, so I’ll post this week for your enjoyment.