Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day! What better way to celebrate love than watch 6 ladies compete for Brad Womack’s heart! Let me start out by saying – Holy Anguilla. Please take me there now.

I’m sure Britt is a really nice person. She likes food. I love food. But WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? She needs a stylist ASAP. Her clothes are so unfortunate and not flattering to her emaciated body type. Someone needs to eliminate all neon objects from her wardrobe, along with the peach lingerie that was worn at dinner. Now.

Brad and Emily’s date was beautiful. It’s interesting to hear Brad say that he doesn’t know if he’s deserving of Emily. Keep that in mind for future episodes. Emily is 100% normal for not being sure that Brad should meet Little Ricki. Finally, a mom that doesn’t want to introduce her child to random men! Although, I do understand Brad’s point that he can’t imagine proposing without meeting Little Ricki. Then Brad breaks the rules and tells Emily that she’s getting a rose. You’re such a bad ass, Brad.

Next up, Brad and Shawntel get down with the locals. Luckily, Shawntel knows how to ride a bike. I don’t. No, really, I don’t. Anyways… I’m sure that the locals are totally weirded out by all of the cameras and this love festival. Their date is nice. But I’m not seeing many sparks. Yes, Brad is comfortable talking about his Daddy issues around her… but is that love? Or a friendship? WHOA! Who noticed her tramp stamp in the ocean after dinner? That’s not even a stamp. That’s a mural.

Britt finally gets her one-on-one time with Brad. She is starting to remind me of Gumby. She could snap in half. One addition to the outfit rant from earlier – What’s with the white foam platform sandals circa 1996? C’mon Britt. Step it up! I can’t even watch her freak out about cliff jumping, considering it’s about 15 feet into crystal blue water. Grow a set.

Dinner time! Britt puts on her nightgown and let’s her hair down so we can all be reminded that it’s way too long. Dinner is super awkward. And so is the dingy boat that takes her back to the house. Ashley H. greets her with open arms. Definitely drunk.

Brad wakes the group date ladies up for their date. I’d say around 3am? Michelle makes me laugh for the first time when she says that she looks atrocious and feels disgusting. The girls each worry about different things while getting ready – Ashley about her small boobies, Chantal about her weight and Michelle… Oh wait, no. Michelle is ready to rock.

I think the girls all look beautiful. Props to them on this date. And I’m happy that Chantal isn’t a twig. She still has a great body and much more easy to relate to. After the modeling, Brad asks Ashley if she has a second for some one-on-one time. No, Brad, she’s busy? Dumb dumb question.

This date gets real awkward real fast. That green juice really amped the girls up to get emotional. Ultimately, Ashley is the least intense and that wins her the rose. Back on the pool bed, Chantal and Michelle are spewing venom.

No cocktail party for these ladies. Brad is sure that he’s ready to send Cruella DeVille home. Goodbye Michelle. For the first time on the show, she’s speechless. I’m shocked. And disappointed. I really wanted more from her.

So, we’re down to the final four. Who are you rooting for? Did you see Shawntel’s morgue in the previews? Awkward. See you next week!