The Good Ol' Hometown Dates!

The Bachelor hometown dates are always a guaranteed good time. There is always at least one good laugh. Let’s look back – Naomi’s bird funeral, the dead animal collection from Kirk’s dad … And now a lesson on embalming. Thank you ABC for never disappointing. Notice that all three of those people got sent home after their hometowns? It’s tough to not attribute their departure to their hometowns, right?

We first get to hear Brad discuss his feelings for about 20 minutes before diving into the hometown dates. Filler.

I have to give it to Chantal. She had a great hometown date. First we get to see her house, which is very impressive for someone her age. Not to mention, the cutest dog ever. I think Boca should have a spin-off. Anyone else? Maybe the Bachelor for doggies?

If you thought Chantal’s house was nice, wait until you see her parents’ house. Holy moly! Her parents seem very normal and non-embarrassing. We’ll probably be seeing her mom again on Bravo’s “Real Housewives of Seattle.” My favorite part of their house was definitely the wine cellar. Sign me up. Although Brad & Mr. O’Brien’s conversation on who came from less was a little retarded, I like their connection and I think Brad was able to see himself as part of the family. Hometown date #1 – Success.

Northwest to Northeast – Time for Maine! Why wouldn’t they go to Chico next? Doesn’t make much sense to fly across the country multiple times… Anyways, I love this little town in Maine! This date made me like Ashley more than I originally did. She seems much more down to earth as a small-town girl. Although, I’m not seeing the love forming between her and Brad. I see friendship, brother sister roughhousing, not passion.

Poutin! I call those bad boys Disco Fries and have had them many late-nights at the Wayne Hills Diner. Next time, I’ll ask for poutin. Ashley’s family seemed very normal and put Brad right at ease. I liked them all, even her sister with the tattooed chest and sleeve. One note – Brad didn’t ask Ashley’s father to marry her. Hmm…

Chico time! I may or may not have been secretly looking for Ryan Atwood in the background of this date. Any other OC fans out there? Oops… just googled that and he’s from Chino. Close enough.

I feel really bad for Shawntel on this date. It’s definitely awkward and weird. But it’s not her fault that this is the business that her family is in. She’s successful and it’s a job. I’m not sure that I would have taken it as far as she did… with the whole embalming process, lying on the table, etc.

Back at her house, things get weirder. Maybe her sisters are adopted? They look nothing like her. Shawntel’s dad couldn’t make this date more uncomfortable unless he was in his undies. There is no reason to have deep conversations about Shawntel moving/taking over the biz in front of all these cameras. Way to ruin your daughters chances at REAL LOVE! For more info on Shawntel’s date, visit www.awkwardmoments.com. Brad didn’t ask for her father’s permission to marry Shawntel, but got it anyways. I’m feeling a huge lack of sparkle on this date. Pack your bags.

Time to meet Little Ricki! The park date was really uncomfortable. Watching Brad try to win over a 5 year old was weird. And can you really blame Ricki for not warming right up to Brad with the cameras up in her business? Makes perfect sense to me.

Ricki’s playroom is adorable. The date gets better back at their house, until Brad refuses to kiss Emily. She wasn’t asking for any below the belt action, just a kiss. Brad is such a prude. Emily couldn’t have said it better – If this works between them, Ricki will always be upstairs. Nice date all in all, but I wish we could have met more of Emily’s family… maybe her parents.

Rose ceremony. Oh dear lord, someone help Chantal. What was she thinking in that dress? And that up do? She gets a rose, but definitely loses in the fashion department. Emily looks phenomenal! Loving that dress.

Shawntel left like a true lady. I couldn’t help but feel really bad for her. I’ll miss her. She was a cutie patootie.

Who are you rooting for now? Leave me some comments!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day! What better way to celebrate love than watch 6 ladies compete for Brad Womack’s heart! Let me start out by saying – Holy Anguilla. Please take me there now.

I’m sure Britt is a really nice person. She likes food. I love food. But WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? She needs a stylist ASAP. Her clothes are so unfortunate and not flattering to her emaciated body type. Someone needs to eliminate all neon objects from her wardrobe, along with the peach lingerie that was worn at dinner. Now.

Brad and Emily’s date was beautiful. It’s interesting to hear Brad say that he doesn’t know if he’s deserving of Emily. Keep that in mind for future episodes. Emily is 100% normal for not being sure that Brad should meet Little Ricki. Finally, a mom that doesn’t want to introduce her child to random men! Although, I do understand Brad’s point that he can’t imagine proposing without meeting Little Ricki. Then Brad breaks the rules and tells Emily that she’s getting a rose. You’re such a bad ass, Brad.

Next up, Brad and Shawntel get down with the locals. Luckily, Shawntel knows how to ride a bike. I don’t. No, really, I don’t. Anyways… I’m sure that the locals are totally weirded out by all of the cameras and this love festival. Their date is nice. But I’m not seeing many sparks. Yes, Brad is comfortable talking about his Daddy issues around her… but is that love? Or a friendship? WHOA! Who noticed her tramp stamp in the ocean after dinner? That’s not even a stamp. That’s a mural.

Britt finally gets her one-on-one time with Brad. She is starting to remind me of Gumby. She could snap in half. One addition to the outfit rant from earlier – What’s with the white foam platform sandals circa 1996? C’mon Britt. Step it up! I can’t even watch her freak out about cliff jumping, considering it’s about 15 feet into crystal blue water. Grow a set.

Dinner time! Britt puts on her nightgown and let’s her hair down so we can all be reminded that it’s way too long. Dinner is super awkward. And so is the dingy boat that takes her back to the house. Ashley H. greets her with open arms. Definitely drunk.

Brad wakes the group date ladies up for their date. I’d say around 3am? Michelle makes me laugh for the first time when she says that she looks atrocious and feels disgusting. The girls each worry about different things while getting ready – Ashley about her small boobies, Chantal about her weight and Michelle… Oh wait, no. Michelle is ready to rock.

I think the girls all look beautiful. Props to them on this date. And I’m happy that Chantal isn’t a twig. She still has a great body and much more easy to relate to. After the modeling, Brad asks Ashley if she has a second for some one-on-one time. No, Brad, she’s busy? Dumb dumb question.

This date gets real awkward real fast. That green juice really amped the girls up to get emotional. Ultimately, Ashley is the least intense and that wins her the rose. Back on the pool bed, Chantal and Michelle are spewing venom.

No cocktail party for these ladies. Brad is sure that he’s ready to send Cruella DeVille home. Goodbye Michelle. For the first time on the show, she’s speechless. I’m shocked. And disappointed. I really wanted more from her.

So, we’re down to the final four. Who are you rooting for? Did you see Shawntel’s morgue in the previews? Awkward. See you next week!

Late and lazy.

Well, as most of you know, I was in San Francisco and Napa Valley this week, so my blog is super late. This is a first for me... And I'll admit that I kept sneaking away in our hotel room to catch tidbits of the show. Since this blog is so late, I'm keeping it real short and simple. This week's episode is old news by now! I'm already looking forward to next week! Valentine's Day, Shmalentine's Day... I'll be watching the Bachelor!

I'm thinking a random list format for this blog. Enjoy!

1. Costa Rica looks gorgeous. Their villa is amazing. The rain... Not so much. I can not even imagine what my hair would've looked like on Chantal's date. Thank god Lisa wasn't still around for this episode.

2. It's obvious that Brad really likes Chantal, since she's the first person to get a second 1-on-1 date. I always think that's a very good sign, especially when some girls have gotten no time with him. I also think their date at night was very "real." It reminded me of Jason Mesnick's date with Melissa... when they hung out at his fake house and I think she peaked in at Tye sleeping? Anyways... These dates always make me happy. It's a slice of reality.

3. Michelle is a freaking nutjob. Let's go over a few of her best comments:
- She hopes that Chantal gets attacked by monkeys or apes. NORMAL
- She thinks that Chantal is over aggressive and confident. WHAT ARE YOU THEN!
- She thinks that Jackie is a baby and over dramatic on the repelling date. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW PSYCHOTIC YOU WENT LAST TIME?!

4. The repelling portion of the group date was irritating. Shawntel obviously went first - She knows that if she dies, she'll be in good hands back at the morgue.

5. Back at the house, Alli get's her 1-on-1 date card. Chantal is much more excited than usual for Alli's date. Let's see... maybe because she knows there is no chance in hell that she'll get a rose? Just saying. Also, note the gallons of wine that the girls are drinking. Nice!

6. One of these girls is very good at side braids. At least 3 of the girls rocked these during the episode. Who was it?

7. Alli doesn't get a rose. Shocker. In your words, "Maybe if you had the saddest story in the house..."

I was sad to see Jackie go, especially before Silent Britt and Michelle, but she didn't have much chemistry with Brad. I see her with a New York Wall Street guy before Southern Boy Brad. She shouldn't have any trouble finding love in the real world... If you didn't know, she's an artist and works with handicapped kids. Pretty impressive!

Who CAN NOT WAIT to see Brad get rid of Michelle? Do you think she'll hit him?

Until next week...