The PAD has begun. This show is such a freak show, that I’m not sure I can blog with structure. This might be random thoughts, but we’ll see as weeks progress.
The limos arrive. Do we really believe that they don’t know who else is on the show with them? They’re all friends, all part of the incestuous Bachelor family… I don’t buy it.
Initial thoughts –
- Tenley is gorgeous.
- Natalie is hysterical.
- Gwen’s going to be the odd man out since she’s (gasp) almost 40!
- Juan played Nikki for a fool.
- I can’t believe Wes came back after ABC screwed him and made him look like the biggest asshole in all of Bachelor history.
- Elizabeth, why on earth did you dye your hair urine yellow?
- Michelle, did you bring your meds?
- Man I’ve missed the Weatherman! WHAT’S THE FORECAST!?
- I’m surprised they let Gia on with a boyfriend.
Everyone begins mingling. The Weatherman cracks me up. I’m so happy he’s back. He’s nervous that the girls might be jealous if he hooks up with one of them, so he’s trying to think of the right strategy and obviously stressing over it. Typical.
Clearly once the ABC memo came letting the girls know they’d be on the PAD, they all starved themselves. I would’ve too. They all look awesome. Let’s take a poll – Who would you most like to look like?
- Gia
- Tenley
- Melissa Rycroft
- Jessie S.
My vote is probably for Melissa, but it’s a close call. This could change in the next game of Twister.
Speaking of Twister… At least everyone looks awesome in their bikinis, because no one knows their right from their left. Since all of the girls want Craig to lose, he wins. Duh!
Tenley starts a rumor that Craig and Michelle hooked up. The funniest part about this is that everyone is disgusted. Fully grossed out, repulsed. Ha! No one is treating the two of them like humans. On the other hand, Natalie and Jesse start making out and it’s super cute. I wonder if Jesse packed that denim one piece. I hope he didn’t.
Craig, the biggest douche in all of Bachelor history, chooses Gwen, Elizabeth and Jessie for the date. Since Jessie is Canadian, she gets the rose. Elizabeth is PISSED. How dare he not try harder to win her over! Does she realize that she sounds like a complete psycho?
Back at the mansion, Jesse gives Elizabeth the “check yourself woman” convo and she cries. When she looks at Jesse, she sees love. When he looks at her, he sees a giant obstacle in getting $250K. He should dump her ass.
Michelle the psychopants locks Tenley in the bathroom. Tenley cries. This is not something that happens in Disney movies and Michelle is sure not a fairy princess. Tenley is totally getting her posse to vote Michelle out.
Juan decides that he should apologize to Nikki for playing her for a fool… but conveniently right before the voting ceremony. Too late Juan! Nikki has already got her gang of bitches to vote your ass out. How’s that for man code!
Elizabeth cries more and tells Jesse that he needs to express his feelings for her. She wants to find love. He wants to win money. This should get real interesting.
In the end, Krisily and Kovacs get a big scare, but it’s Juan and Michelle that get the boot. Michelle, maybe next time you’ll think twice before locking a fairy princess in the bathroom.
In perfect fashion, the Weatherman finishes the episode by saying, “Adios Juanito!” He’s the best. Man, I’ve missed him.
Okay – let’s hear it. Who are your favorites? Who do you want to hook up? Who should win the money? Leave some comments! This is going to be a great season.
I have so much to say.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I do not think Tenley is so beautiful. She's pretty, sure, but not beautiful.
I don't understand why all the guys think Jesse S is so smoking hot. I think she's a butterface.
Chris Harrison is rocking some fun tie/shirt combinations. I guess ABC is giving him a little freedom in the "crazy" Bachelor Pad. Melissa Rycroft looks great but a tad too skinny. I hope she's eating more now that she's pregnant.
Ok, now for the big one. Elizabeth NEEDS TO GO. Poor Jesse. He doesn't know what he got himself into. She is totally crazy and manipulative. What she is doing to my poor Jesse is abominable. How do all the women not hate her? She must be thaaat good at manipulating people. I hate her.
Jen, you really have your work cut out for you this season. Good luck!!
Haha... agreed on Jessie. She's overrated but her body is ridiculous and according to Kovacs, she has the best ass he's ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThere is one shirt/tie combo in the previews that is NUTS. Go Harrison!
Melissa doesn't eat sugar or salt. WTF does she eat?
Elizabeth is the worst. Her hair looks like urine.
okay so i took a few notes b/c i knew i wanted to be ur guest commentator! SO the weatherman, by far had the best quote of the night by saying, "When Craig won the competition I pretty much knew for sure there was no God." I was dying when i heard this, priceless!
ReplyDeleteNow was for Elizabeth, when she stepped out the limo I knew she looked like a familiar crazy but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then when she was on the date with Craig and he said she was the one with the note and not to kiss her on a previous season it hit me, she is bananas! not gonna lie her ugly hair threw me off (probably what she wanted) and not to mention ur right jen, complete urine, vom! When she was sitting with jessie right before they voted she was basically telling him what to tell the girls and i swear it looked like he was in her spell of some sort! she needs to go next b/c her looney antics are becoming too much.
I agree tenley is beautiful, and they let Gia on with a bf b/c it was a win win for ABC. either she cheated on him and that would be a scandal, her convictions of staying true to her bf would ruin her game, or she became the lust of the house that no one could have and that will bring about a mountain of jealousy! she is beautiful and fun, they need her.
p.s. thanks for telling me how old gwen was bc when abc put the ?? in place of an age i was really starting to get scared! also pretty ridiculous since juan i think was 37 and i didn't see any ?? by his name!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! They're making Gwen's age way more dramatic than it needs to be. Apparently Juan and Michelle have hooked up since the show - ew.
ReplyDelete