Ah, this guilty pleasure I like to call “The Bachelor Pad”…
The episode kicks off with America’s Favorite Couple, Kovacs and Crazy Elizabeth, talking strategy. Kovacs has completely fallen under her spell. He now thinks that being in a couple is better than being alone. Someone quote him and engrave this on his tombstone one day.
On to the other couple, Natalie and Jesse B. This couple is dangerous, especially to him. If they stay close, the “outcast” girls will vote him off. Natalie has enough friends on the guys team that her relationship won’t matter. Luckily for Jesse, he read my blog and dumps Natalie later on.
It must be interesting to wake up with everyone. You can really see who looks good and bad. Damn, I’d love to look like Gia rolling out of bed. I’m a hot mess in the morning. I’d be voted out first. Hello morning breath!
Our first challenge is a pie eating contest – hosted by the checked shirt Chris Harrison and skinny-minny Melissa (love the dress). I’m amazed at how difficult they all made this look. IT’S EATING! C’mon girls… once upon a time, you used to eat. I am confident that I would destroy this competition. WHY DID THE GIRLS TAKE OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO EAT THE PIE? Is every competition going to be in bikini tops?
Everyone starts barfing. Shouldn’t you be disqualified once you puke? Isn’t that cheating? I hope the kissing contest is next. It comes down to Gia and Tenley, the two hottest girls [barf, eat, barf, eat] and Gia wins.
It’s the boys turns. I hope they puke a lot… that’d be funny. Craig should probably wear a headband – what if he messes up his bouffant? David is like “Whatever, this is chicken shit, bitches.” David comes in last place.
Anyone else wondering WHY can’t the girls clean their faces before 1-on-1 time with the camera? C’mon.
Craig rubs his hair in the pie. He will soon eat “L.A. Looks - No Frizz Extra Hold” gel and die of chemical consumption. Maybe he’s trying to poison himself to death since...... his nemesis THE WEATHERMAN wins!
The Weatherman takes Gwen, Peyton and Ashley on his date, all “outcasts.” Little does he know that Ashley has a secret alliance with the in-crowd. Way to go Weatherman – should’ve listened to Captain Gia! With the exception of Weatherman’s speedo, this date looked really fun. Who doesn’t like body painting? After the messy part, Weatherman begins to work these women over. I see some scheming in the forecast! He then tries to seduce Mama Gwen, but she isn’t happening and let’s us know that she doesn’t foresee this happening in a million years. #Rejected
Anyone else laugh when Gia was pulling names out of the bowl and David kept yelling, “Stir it around!” That’s man-code for play fair, Gia! She decides to take Jesse B., Craig and Wes. And her mind is already made up that Craig will get the rose. AKA, something will change and Wes will get the rose. Duh.
On their date, I’m loving her and Wes. She should probably break up with the professional hockey player and date the professional reality television villain. He’s much cooler. She gives the rose to Wes. Probably should apologize to Craig for lying… Just sayin.
Kovacs and Elizabeth are back at the PAD and she tells him that she is a DUMB SMART GIRL. Nope. You are just plain dumb. There is a difference. Cue shower sex. [BTW - Last week, I read on the Kovacs Facebook page that they were having a viewing party this week. Do you think his parents come? Awkward.]
On the other side of the pool, David and Jessie are in the hot tub about to start making out. Jessie, before you seduce David for votes, check for Krisily in the bushes listening. #yourescrewed
Jesse B. dumps Natalie and she is heartbroken. I think they’ve known each other for about 3 days at this point. Yup, that sounds about right. Bachelor time is like dog years, so that’s like 21 days. It’s LOVE. Tenley consoles her and let’s her know that she’s still a princess.
Rose Ceremony time! Natalie raided a 5 year old’s dance costume closet. Harrison, dressed up in quite the shirt/tie combination, asks Elizabeth about relationships in the house. How dare she compare her and Kovacs sexcapades to Tenley and Kiptyn’s Cinderella story? Tenley cries.
Jessie realizes that she is in danger and cries to David, begging for her life in the game. She seems real drunk and not comprehending much of what he’s saying. The Insiders should obviously keep Jessie because she’s an easy vote.
Kiptyn woo’s Nikki over before she votes, so she obviously doesn’t vote for Kiptyn. Who could vote out Kiptyn? C’mon.
Well, Canada has been defeated. Craig and Jessie are both given the boot.
This show is going to get better and better. Who are you rooting for? Do you like the Insiders or the Outsiders?
I really have to object to you calling Tenley one of the 2 hottest girls on the show. Just because she's as skinny as a toothpick does not change the fact that she has a cutesy face, not a hot face.
ReplyDeleteI hate Elizabeth with everything that is in my body and soul. I'm heartbroken for Jesse that he's been seduced.
I'm in for the outsiders but if I was on the show I would totally want to be an insider and would probably play both sides, like Jessie, only not get caught.