Bachelorette Viewing Party!

Planning a viewing party in a few hours isn't exactly easy, but we pulled it off!

First item of business: Wine! And what better brand than Cupcake for TEAM CUPCAKE!?


Next up: Cupcakes! With beautiful red roses - duh!


How could we have a party without photos of JP & Ben? Look familiar?


And a fabulous group of friends & family to watch with! Sadly, Jenn Kamienski was not in this photo. Boo! I have to admit, for throwing this together in virtually an hour, our crew was solid!


On to the episode...

I have been Team JP since Day 1, but I have always really liked Ben. Last night was tough to watch. The finale, like always, was a bit slow. The worst part of it all was during the "After the Final Rose" when ABC decided to preview some ridiculous show for what seemed like forever. Bachelorette Buzzkill.

Some of the highlights/lowlights from last night:

Ashley's sister - Luckily, she apologized at the "After the Final Rose" and is now BFF with JP, but I thought her performance on the show was rough. If she was my sister and treated my possible fiance like that, I would have been livid. I think she crossed the line. It's one thing to be skeptical and a little tough, it's another to be flat out rude. She was incredibly close minded with JP.

Ben & Ashley - I could not believe what Ashley did to Ben. I really like her, but c'mon, how do you let a man get on his knee and propose? There were so many opportunities for Ashley to just say "Stop." She let him get his hopes up and proposing was so completely unnecessary. Deanna did this with Jason as well. It's just something about this show that I do not understand. Do the producers make the Bachelorettes do this? My heart broke.

Because Ben was rejected, we proceeded with this:


Sorry Ben :(


JP's Proposal - Did you cry? Because I shed a tear. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I loved this. The proposal was completely heartfelt and genuine and if you didn't see the love/passion between these two, you're blind. I REALLY hope they last!

TEAM JP!

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Good Morning America came out to film the party last night!


Not all of our footage made the segment, but my "Team JP" line did:


Not my most flattering screenshot, but I'll take it! Fame is fame.

If you haven't seen the segment, click here! It's great.

Thank you to everyone who kept up with my blog all season! Make sure to keep following me for Bachelor Pad 2 coverage!

Bachelorette Fantasy Suites - Let's Get Steamy!

I love the overnight date episode. Things finally move away from being deep and spiritual and turn a little more XXX. Ashley arrives in Fiji, gets out of a helicopter and miraculously does not pull a Britney. Girls got skills. Again, we recap her feelings of the remaining men. It took every ounce of control in me to not fast forward. Why does ABC insist on doing this each week? Give us more bloopers!

Uh oh… Ryan is back! He should have left his shirt back in the USA, along with the creepy stare he has plastered across his face. Ryan returns to tell Ashley that Wes has a girlfriend back at home and isn’t there for the right reasons. Oh wait, wrong season… Sorry about that! Ryan is back to tell her that he really felt a strong connection during their 15 minutes together and he’s been miserable since she kicked him to the curb. AKA Ryan stopped taking his Lexapro and the misery that is real life kicked in. Ashley is shitting bricks – total self esteem overload. Someone is finally madly in love with her and actually begging to come back! Oh how the tables have turned…

Ashley shows up to her date with Ben, probably a few hours late because of Ry. The two of them get to sail around Fiji on a gorgeous yacht and make out. Sounds like a great date to me! Ashley straddles Ben. I am happy. Finally, something steamy! Bring on the hot tubs next! They go snorkeling and float around the water. Ben says that he is floating and it feels great. He probably has gas.

At dinner, Ashley and Ben throw back a few Mai Tai’s, getting fully liquored up before it’s time for the Fantasy Suites. Ben tells Ashley that he’s completely available now. I think he really meant physically… After all, it is time for the Fantasy Suite. Ashley is so excited to show Ben the Fantasy Suite Card… And her goodies. They both decide to forgo their individual rooms and stay as a couple in the Fantasy Suite. If ABC ever changes the wording of the date cards (specifically forgo), I may forgo this show.

Back in the Fantasy Suite, Ashley and Ben go swimming. I was hoping for a skinny dip. They really let me down.

Morning rolls around and it’s time for Ashley’s date with Constantine. She has bed head from her wild night with Ben. I think Ben also ate half of her shirt. Constantine is rocking the Euro-Mullet, and boy what a fabulous sense of humor he has for noting that! Well played, sir. Ashley is shocked that Constantine has never been in a helicopter… I think that's normal.

Wait, pause. Is Ryan seriously standing on a sand dune looking up at her and Constantine? This show is genius. Wait, hold on. Now he’s in a cave pondering life. Brilliant.

Then Constantine and Ashley go to a waterfall. The wet rat look isn’t so great on Constantine. Ashley compares him looking at 108 houses to finding a wife. Way to over analyze him… These comparisons are not relevant! Ashley thinks it’s hard to read Constantine. I don’t think he likes her at all. Easy to read in my eyes.

Later that night, things get deep during dinner. Ashley doesn’t think that their relationship is progressing at the rate it should be. He’s not madly in love and ready to propose to her after only one month of group dating. Constantine would rather talk about Ben. Ashley is curious to know if it’s weird that he and Ben are dating the same girl. Constantine is thinking, “No. I’m just jealous that you got to spend a night in the Fantasy Suite with Ben and I didn’t.”

Ashley doesn’t feel loved. This is doomed. She wonders if he’s moving slowly because of the process… Yeah, maybe it’s the 5 cameras up in his face and the 2 up his ass. Just a thought! Well, it’s the end of the road for Constantine. With his exit, Ashley drinks the two fruity drinks, two glasses of wine, and heads alone to the Fantasy Suite. Once again, Ashley thinks about what might happen if she ends up alone. Don’t forget about Ryan!

The next morning, Ryan’s heart is beating out of his chest again. He obviously found his Lexapro and funneled 3 Red Bulls before seeing Ashley. I’ll put money on an upcoming endorsement deal from Ryan & Red Bull – Red Bull gives Ryan wings! Ashley dumps Ryan, again, and he’s defeated. ABC sets him up perfectly to be the next Bachelor… Ryan doesn’t think he’ll ever find love!

Time for Ashley to see her true love, JP! She is so much happier to see him than anyone else. They take a seaplane to a deserted island in Fiji… Remind anyone else of Ali and Roberto’s date in Bora Bora? Seems quite similar to me! Ashley and JP make out in the ocean for a few hours and JP tells her that he wants the whole thing to end. I’m really loving this episode… It’s getting hot!

Later that night, Ashley puts on her most bling-tastic earrings and is ready to play a cruel joke on JP… Telling him that she said goodbye to two guys this week. Why would you get his hopes up like that? I wish I could slap Ashley through the television. Dinner goes well, but the only thing I’m thinking about is the Fantasy Suite. Anyone else? JP tells Ashley that he needs a little something more. No kidding – That something can be found in the Fantasy Suite. It’s called sex.

The lovebirds head into the Fantasy Suite and Ashley puts on a sexy white button down and kicks out the camera crew. Cue porno music.

Why must we have a rose ceremony? Oh right, because Ashley needs another confidence boost… She needs to know that the two remaining men love her back. Ashley and Chris have a quick one-on-one session and she has a serious post-sex glow across her face.

At the rose ceremony, Ben finds out that Constantine left. He’s crushed, heartbroken, probably wants to walk out and go find his love. But, he accepts the rose.

Who’s excited for the finale next week? Who is your pick for the win? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Takes Taiwan!

I’m going to start out by addressing one of the most serious issues of the evening… Ames’ clothing choices. The first problem: ADIDAS pants went out of style in 1999. The second: If you’re going to wear them, WHY with a plaid shirt? C’mon Ames. You’re killing me here.


We’ll address the second problematic outfit shortly. Moving on…

We kick off the episode with Ashley recapping her feelings on each of the remaining men and with Chris Harrison letting them know that four of them will be the “Fortunate Four.” Never heard that one before… What happened to Final Four?

Constantine gets the first 1-on-1 date. If I was Ryan, I’d be popping a Lexapro right about now. Ashley and Constantine board their train and I’m wondering if this could end up like Robby D. in Jillian’s season, where she kicked him off the train and left him on the side of the road. Luckily for Constantine, this was not an elimination/rose date. The two of them paint their love wishes on a lantern. I caught a glimpse of what they really said…

• Ashley’s: I hope that I can stop faking my affection for these other guys and just end up with JP soon.
• Constantine’s: I hope that my bromance with Ben lasts forever and forever. (BF + CT = Love 4EAE)

The night portion of their date is boring, as usual. I really like Constantine… He’s normal, isn’t falling head over heels yet, and seems to be a stand-up dude. This means that he’ll never win. In Bachelor land, you must already be crazy in love to stand a chance.

Ben gets the next date. Ryan is now overdosing on Lexapro, while JP is beginning his freakout session. Ashley and Ben ride on their mopeds around Taiwan and Ben thinks that it feels natural to have Ashley’s legs wrapped around him. Now we’re talkin!

Back at the hotel, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date card and does some creepy elbow move to celebrate. WTF was that? Anyone have any explanations? Ryan has a “whole bunch of energy running through him and he can’t turn it off.” Jesus Christ Ryan, lay off the drugs! Watching him gives me severe anxiety.

Anyways, back on the date, Ben is totally confident that he’s getting a hometown date. I would be too if I was a winemaker. Ashley is obviously going to choose day of wine tasting rather than learning about solar powered energy. Ben also refers to love as the L-Bomb which scores major points in my book. He’s a nerd and I like it. I think they’re very cute together. If JP wasn’t on the show, Ben would probably have a good chance.

While getting ready for the group date, the guys realize that Ben hasn’t come home. JP is borderline raging and wants to kick Ben’s ass when he gets home. Ben managed to get right under JP’s skin when he got back, avoiding giving the guys any details of why he was gone overnight. I’m sure his beanie made it even more frustrating.

Time for another really stupid date by ABC – a wedding photo shoot! Why?! One of the best lines of the evening goes to JP for comparing Ames to an “offspring of an ostrich and Elton John.” Genius. This whole date is weird. JP looks great. Ames looks like a freak. And Lucas is in perfect character, looking uptight and kind of scary as usual.

The evening is just as awkward. Love Ashley’s green dress… or shirt… whichever it really is. Now it’s time for Ames’ second fashion offense…


What shade would you consider these pants? Washed too many times cherry red? Pepto? Magenta? Whatever they are… They are wrong.

FINALLY, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date and his heart is beating out of his chest again. Oh man. The date starts out with another spiritual activity… throwing some rocks on the ground and hoping they come up opposites. I’m really sick of these mushy spiritual activities. Can we try something a little more raunchy? What happened to hot tub make out scenes? C’mon! I'm so ready for the Bachelor Pad.

Ryan goes on a tangent about heating water and Ashley knows they’re doomed. She’s not green, litters and leaves the faucet on while brushing her teeth. Time for Ryan to go home. But wait, don’t you feel bad for this face? He’s shocked! Sad! Heartbroken! BREAK OUT THE LEXAPRO! CALL THE ABC PSYCHOTHERAPIST! BRAD WOMACK – WHERE IS YOUR SHRINK? WE NEED HIM!


I will say that Ryan shouldn’t have been so surprised. They never had a 1-on-1 date until this point which is a clear sign. With that said, I still feel bad for him. He does not take it so well. His exit was pretty brutal to watch.

The rest of the episode is a bore. Ashley knows that she’s sending Lucas home so we’re able to skip over the cocktail party and make time for the Emily/Brad saga. Lucas goes home and I’m not sad. Kind of relieved, but I will say… He took it like a man and was a real gentleman. I've been pretty hard on Lucas this season... I doubt he'll become a fan of my blog.

I didn’t have time to watch the Emily confessions. I’m saving that for tonight! Which means, another blog post tomorrow! Hoorah!

So, which hometown date are you most excited for? Do you think Ryan has a shot at being the next Bachelor? Leave some comments!

Adios Bentley!

Welcome to Hong Kong! First order of business – Who noticed the rapid moving people behind Ashley as she stared up at the skyscrapers? Reminded me of Heroes or something. How Sci-Fi of the producers! Well, as expected, Chris Harrison pops into Ashleys room for a quick catch-up session and to let her know that Bentley is downstairs!

“SHUT UP!” Was that not the most fake “Shut up!” you’ve ever heard? I bet that was Take 16 of the Shut Up. The only thing that I’m grateful for is the fact that they put this Bentley shindig at the beginning of the episode. At least we get it over with.

As expected, Ashley heads down to Bentley’s room, 4315, and lingers outside of the door for a minute or so. Knock, you creeper! He’s going to see your feet. Ashley enters, not before giving Bentley a quick smooch, and the stupidest conversation in history begins. “So, what’s up? Fill me in!” Really? We’re really doing this? So annoying.

The whole scene is just irritating and I was glad when it ended. Adios Bentley! Hope you get plane-sick on the ride home.

Ashley’s first one on one date is with Lucas. Why?! Why would you not choose Blake? He seems so much less psychotic. And he has great teeth. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sit through this date. Lucas scares me.

Okay, I was kind of wrong. Lucas grew on me slightly throughout the date. I don’t like him, but I will stop saying that he reminds me of a serial killer. Let’s get down to brass tacks here – No romance between these two. And Lucas is too Southern for Ashley. Lucas will not be getting on his knee to propose in a few weeks. I think that Ashley was just so relieved to be done with the Bentley situation that she had a good date because she was happy, not because she liked him.

Back at the hotel, shit is about the hit the fan. Partially because Blake and Ryan are livid that they aren’t getting the 1-on-1 date, and partially because I think JP pooped his pants when he realized he was getting a 2^nd 1-on-1 date before some guys got their 1^st. Either way, shit hits fan.

Time for the group date. Glad ABC planned something as ridiculous as dragon boat racing. If it wasn’t for Ben and Constantines hysterical comments and attire, this date could have put me to sleep. I’m going to take a guess and say that the guys would have much rather make out with Ashley in a hot tub than recruit Chinese people to be on their racing teams. Just a guess!

Constantine and Ben win this date. Their outfits were genius and some of the comments they made… I died. “Sheer pandemonium set in,” or “We’re getting smoked! Like salmon bro!” I would have taken the rose, chopped it in half and given it to both of them. Then I would have drowned Ryan’s giddy ass. Unfortunately, that did not happen.

On to another rooftop party. Ames is all hopped up and ready to seduce Ashley in the elevator. Where the hell did that come from? Someone had some liquid courage going on. This scene is so awkward and nothing close to hot. Their kiss looked painful… Far from the hot, steamy, elevator make-out that I was hoping for. Then Ashley makes out with Ben for a bit. And I really like Ben, but that kiss was just as lame. Stop pecking each other! Ashley gives the rose to Happy Ryan.

JP receives his date card. “Let’s take a peek into our future.” Definitely going to a peep show. Sweet! Damn it… I was wrong, no peep show. Instead we get another adorable and perfect date with Ashley and JP. No cheesy tourist activities, no harassing locals… Just a great dinner date! The night is going smoothly until Ashley wants to drop the Bentley bomb. She creates quite a build-up before breaking the news… I swore she was going to come out of the closet. Instead, she tells JP about the Bentley drama and he handles it like a man. Then they make out and sparks fly all over Hong Kong.

Ashley should probably just propose to JP on this date. Let’s get real. Their chemistry is light years ahead of the others. Is it even appropriate to continue the season like this? It’s kind of cruel.

Cocktail party time! Ashley’s dress is way too over the top for my liking. It’s distracting. She drops the Bentley bomb on the rest of the crew and unlike JP, they all get their panties in a big bundle. I guess I understand. She did lie. But, it’s a show. Chill out guys. Lucas is back to serial killer status, Constantine is pissed that this may interfere with his bromances, and Ames reminds us all that he went to the hospital for Ashley.

Oh wait… I spoke too soon. Ryan is not fazed! His heart didn’t even move a beat. That’s probably because his heartrate is at a consistent 180 resting. The guy is on speed and/or happy pills at all times.

Mickey is the most pissed. It’s partially because Ashley lied, but part of it is because she likes Ryan. The producers cut a lot of their conversation, but apparently the main reason that he left was because of Ryan. I’m torn on this because I understand being frustrated with another guy in the house, but everyone likes different people. I’m sad to see Mickey go, but really, he didn’t bring much to the table. And also, if he hadn’t left on his own, she would have sent him home.

Ashley has another meltdown. Does anyone have the number for Brad Womack’s therapist? I think we’re going to need him from here on out. Ashley needs some help and I don’t think Chris Harrison is cutting it.

Blake gets the boot and I feel bad for him. Blake seemed like a good catch and he didn’t even get a chance! She should have at least kept him over Lucas. At least we’ll see him on the Bachelor Pad!

Only 6 guys left! What do you think? Who are your favorites? Leave some comments!

ANTYHING Can Happen in Chiang Mai!

I’m about to call the producers over at ABC and tell them to re-evaluate their jobs. There is always a dramatic aspect to every season, always one person we can’t stand, but this Bentley situation… This is so far beyond annoying that it’s sucking the fun out of the show for me. And that is very, very hard to do. Luckily, we’re in Chiang Mai this week and ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN CHIANG MAI. Definitely one of the stupider things I heard this week. Of course anything can happen in Chiang Mai. Anything can happen anywhere. Ugh! The retarded quotes were at an all time high this episode.

Anything can happen this week – We could see a concussion from muay thai , two people could get sent home on a 2-on-1 date, and Ashley could beg Chris Harrison to bring back Bentley. Sure enough, all of those things happened! Go figure.

Ben F. gets the first date and I have to say, I think he’s close to perfect. I really wish Ashley would stop thanking Ben and the others for sticking around, for joining her on the dates, etc. It’s part of the damn show. Stop being so polite. Watching Ashley and Ben talk about how they want to kiss, but can’t, reminded me of Jake’s season when him and Nanny Elizabeth didn’t kiss at the amusement park. A little different – Elizabeth was playing the psychotic hard-to-get card, and this time the temple was holding them back, but nonetheless, similar.

Ben and Ashley’s evening date is beautiful. The producers get a few points for that floral arrangement on the floor… Absolutely gorgeous. Ben F. tells Ashley that he spends all day making wine. I on the other hand, spend all day thinking about wine. Basically, he’s living my dream. Ben is great – talking about having friends over to hang out and drink wine, how he wants to spoil someone – WINNER. And with no surprise, Ben gets a rose.

It’s time for the group date and what better activity than muay thai. Definitely a safe option! Ashley has pink boxing gloves like me! We’re twins! I, on the other hand, do not have that stomach to match. Buzzkill. Poor Ames… He’s never been in a fight in his life, BUT he could tell you the latitude and longitude of Chiang Mai! Does that count for anything?

Watching the guys battle was entertaining. My boyfriend even agreed to watch the show for a few minutes! SUCCESS! JP was the best person to watch… Talking about how a small Jew from Long Island beat Mickey the Irishman… Hysterical. Can JP get any better?

How fitting was it that Ames had the pink shorts? And how sad was it to watch him with his concussion? Although, you definitely laughed a little during the fight, right? Not just me? It’s pretty incredible that this guy is probably the most physically fit on the entire show (besides Nick the trainer) and he couldn’t hold his own during a muay thai match. He should stick with 100 mile marathons.

Sometimes I think Ashley isn’t nice enough. I’m sure she’s a good person, but wouldn’t you go with Ames to the hospital? Or at least give him the rose? Not judging, but c’mon! All I was really worried about was who won the heavyweight challenge? Apparently, it was Constantine, which kind of surprises me.

Ames is back! He’s clearly out of whack. Telling Ashley that the day was great? At least give him a kiss or something. A sympathy kiss. Please? Ashley and Blake have some bonding time. He lets her know that love is not a marathon, it’s a sprint. Who writes this shit? And that isn’t true, Blake. I’m so sick of these contestants talking about love being a marathon, taking your time, getting to know someone, love not being about winning – BULLSHIT. This is THE BACHELORETTE! It’s fast, rapid, fake and only about winning!

Ashley and Lucas play a little air golf. Confession: Lucas shares the shit out of me. I can’t put my finger on it but he seems like a potential serial killer. Maybe it’s the black eyes, or the creepy smile, but it’s killing me. Luckily, he doesn’t get the rose.

Time for the “dreaded 2-on-1 date.” As William would say, it’s the thunderdome date. Two men enter and one man leaves. William is also wasted waiting for his date. He keeps calling it “two dudes, one girl.” Sounds a lot like 2 girls, 1 cup. Don’t google that. Seriously, do not.

This whole date was bizarre. Ben C. is looking forward to getting himself on dating websites when he gets home? I think there are some missing pieces to this story. And Ashley believed William that quickly? I don’t buy it. The 1-on-1 part of this date is awkward… Clearly, Ashley still hates William for roasting her. She kicks him off too and he’s shattered. I actually feel bad for Ben C. and William… Really liked them both. William thinks that he is the world’s biggest jackass. He obviously does not realize that Bentley already holds that title. And of course, back at the mansion, Ryan is skipping around pushing William’s bags out the door.

Shocking: Sending two guys home brings in a whole new truckload of insecurities for Ashley. Exactly what we want to see! I’m getting tired of her insecurities. She’s smart, pretty and making a nice chunk of change to be on this show. As viewers, we do not feel bad for you.

Time for the cocktail party! In a nutshell, Constantine prefers the bromance over her, JP is confident and awesome, and Nick needs to get 6-8 hours of sleep because the bags under his eyes are just not going away. Then, Ashley talks to Chris Harrison and embarrasses herself a little bit more, begging for closure with Bentley. I wish Chris would just say – BENTLEY HATES YOU. GET OVER IT! But, he does not. Instead, he’ll play with her heartstrings a little more and bring Bentley back for Round 2.

Ashley sends Nick packing which isn’t a surprise and like usual, doesn’t even walk him out. Cold! Next week, we’ll see Ashley beg for Bentley back and probably consider throwing our wine glasses through the television set. No? Just me?

What’d you think of this week’s episode? Is JP still your favorite or are you about to jump on the Ben F. wine train? And did you notice the HYSTERICAL footage of William and Ben C. after the previews for next week? LOVED!