46NYC Lemonade Stand

Today was the 46NYC Lemonade Stand in Central Park, which benefitted Pediatric Cancer. Started by Graham, Hal and John, 46NYC is an apparel company that makes a line of clothing to raise money and awareness for causes that impact the global community. Kudos to these guys!

The Lemonade Stand was an awesome event and had a fantastic turnout. Below are some pictures and highlights from the day.

If you're interested in donating or purchasing a 46NYC shirt, visit http://www.46nyc.com/. It's a great cause.

As you can see, Michael Stag's personality was shining through, all day. He's one of the nicest and most enthusiastic people I've ever met. He made everyone feel like they were special when he met them. He's a winner in my book.

William was awesome. He was so genuine and watching him with some of the little kids was too cute. He really got into the spirit of the day. Big, big fan of William!

Michael Stag is all about the hugs. In this picture, he wanted Kelly to hug him like she meant it. He even made her put down her lemonade for this one.

JP and Ashley were even cuter in person than they were on TV, if you can imagine that. They were so down to earth and great to talk to. From talk of the Giants to fashion, we loved spending some time with them. I really hope they last because they deserve it!

I've been a huge fan of Graham Bunn since his season of The Bachelorette and it was so great to finally meet him in person. Graham was SO sweet and so grateful for everyone supporting the event.

Ames was just as awesome in person as he was on the show. But much less robotic and much more personality!

Could they be any cuter?

Although Erica was a woman of few words in person, I'll still give her my vote for president.

As expected, Michelle Money is gorgeous. And her hair is just as fabulous.

Craig R. was making little girls dreams come true, signing autographs left and right.

Craig R. is awesome. I wish he was my friend is real life. As Deena from Jersey Shore would say, he's a "blast in a glass." He may or may not have smelled like alcohol from brunch also. I'm not judging. I was jealous.

Mom and Brigitte

Me & Kelly

As always, so good to see Ashley Spivey! She's my absolute favorite girl from the Bachelor and such a sweetheart. I think we've moved from Twitter friends to real friends.

Here is Cindi Rose, the fabulous mother of Erica Rose. If you think Erica is great, wait until you meet her mom. Mrs. Rose told us all about the "Real Erica," the one we don't get to see on TV. Did you know that she was president of the French Club in High School? Did you know that she went to Emory? Mrs. Rose was hysterical and she loved my mom.

She also told us all about her silhouette business. Check it out here: http://www.silhouettesbycindi.com/artsbio.html.

Mrs. Rose then suggested a Mother Daughter picture. And how could we resist?!

If you'd like to order 8x10 copies, send me an email.

Emily Maynard, as expected, was a doll. That's the best way to describe her. She's super tiny and super sweet. And as always, she had awesome boots on.

We all loved talking to Jackie. I've always loved her and thought she was beautiful, but she was even more beautiful and charming in person. We had a great conversation with her about her experience on The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad. Huge, huge fan of hers!

Everyone remember Jeremy from Deanna's season? Great guy! Jeremy's been flying a little under the radar since his appearance on The Bachelorette, but it was so nice to meet him. My mom even told him that his raspy voice was sexy...

All in all, such a great day at the event! It was so much fun to meet everyone and raise money for pediatric cancer.

Thanks to 46NYC for a great day!

Bachelor Pad Finale

I know, it's Friday. And my blog is SO late. I was traveling this week and couldn't even watch the finale until Wednesday! Madness. And so unlike me. I'll keep this short and simple because I think at this point, everyone has forgotten about the show already.

Final Challenge

I disliked the final challenge in Las Vegas. I have to admit - I'm not a fan of these Vegas Show/Broadway competitions that the franchise has been adding into the seasons lately. Whether it be the Lion King or Jabbawockeez, it's just not my cup of tea. Especially being the Bachelor Pad, I'd prefer something ridiculous, raunchy and inappropriate instead.

The only memorable moments during this hour were the Kasey-isms involved. Did anyone else notice the ridiculously lame quotes that he came up with? This guy should write for Hallmark.


Reunion

The reunion was more entertaining than the first hour of competition. Some highlights below:

- I really like Ella but I think she looked prettier without the "Heidi Montag" surgeries. Her lips are enormous... Wonder how the kissing contest would go now...

- I felt really bad for Jackie and Ames. It seems like there is more to the story on his end, but I doubt we'll hear more on that for a while.

- Erica and Melissa looked great. For all of the ripping apart I did on their behalves this season, I'll give them credit now... They cleaned up well!

- Vienna should sue Erica Rose's father because she's still painful to look at.

- Team Jake 100%, even though he's a weiner. It was nice to see Kasey apologize to him though. I do think that Kasey is a genuinely nice guy... I just wish he'd ditch Vienna.


The Proposal

As much as I think that Blake and Holly are somewhat cute, their proposal seemed completely ingeniune. Maybe it was the cameras? Or the ring from Neil Lane? Or the fact that they aired it on national television? It just rubbed me the wrong way.

The fact that Holly and Blake "couldn't" tell Michael beforehand about the proposal is just ludacris. This is where I think they completely failed and my heart broke. There's a fine line between what's reality and television. They definitely should have handled the situation differently.


The Results

I'm very happy that Michael won the money, but I couldn't feel the same way for Holly after the proposal sequence. I'm somewhat surprised that they won and convinced that if Holly wasn't Michael's partner, things would have gone much differently.


Bachelor Ben

As we all knew, Ben F. is the next Bachelor. I think he'll be a good Bachelor, just hoping he doesn't get a little boring. If they cast a solid group of females, the season could be golden... He's a great catch! If the girls are completely normal, we're in for a potential snooze-fest.


Hope you all enjoyed my blog this season! Stay tuned for Bachelor updates throughout the fall!

Erica Rose for President!

Everyone heads inside after the Rose Ceremony and recovers from Hurricane Melissa. Like Hurricane Irene, the bitch did tons of damage and left people stranded and confused. Although Blake’s teammate is gone, he’s pumped because he’s been trying to get with Holly since Day 1. They have great chemistry… Too bad for Michael Stag.

Chris Harrison comes in and announces that everyone needs to partner up. Erica and Blake realize that they’re each others only options and they’re ready to get to know each other. Erica thinks this will happen blindfolded with a few roofies, but Blake is thinking about playing 20 Questions. Little does Blake know, this is the best thing to ever happen to him – a BIG step up from Holly.

Everyone sits around and plays “Let’s get to know each other.” It’s the standard game I’ve played with any new boyfriends in my life… Icebreaker time! Kasey and Vienna don’t bother getting to know each other before the challenge because they’re good at everything. Just like Vienna was good at the bed challenge and the synchronized swimming contest. And then she lost both. Blake and Erica talk about flying squirrels and Blake says that both of his stepmom’s are named Karen? Did I hear correctly? His family seems almost as dysfunctional as mine does! Yeah!

Time for the challenge! Chris Harrison announces that the winning couples will get a very romantic 1-on-1 date. Kasey can smell it. What is this face? (Cringing)

This challenge is interesting. Most disturbing parts:

· Vienna needs to go on 22 dates before she has sex? Right. And I’m not obsessed with reality television.

· Kasey would be a rabbit in bed? TMI. I’m gagging.

· Vienna thinks that he ex’s miss her boobs the most? You should be proud.

· Holly wants to sleep with Blake and Michael wants to punch Blake in his perfect teeth.

· No one likes Blake.

· Thank god that Graham was lying about these 7’s because he’s definitely had more than 7 partners. AND if he lost his virginity at 7, I’d call the po-lice.

Graham and Michelle win the “NearlyWed” game. Blake and Erica also get a date for coming in second place. At least Blake will get some ass before he’s sent packing!

The token Bachelor helicopter comes to pick up Graham and Michelle to whisk them away to Hot People Island, where we all wish we were granted admission. Kasey is super jealous and wishes he could go in the helicopter with Vienna, only to push her out the back door.

Back at the house, Vienna and Kasey air out their sex life in public…. One of those things I’d file as “Don’t bring up in the Bachelor Pad House on National TV,” but that’s just me. We were probably raised differently. Basically, Kasey has sexual frustration and Vienna isn’t willing to help him air it out. She’s worn out from sleeping with Wes Hayden and David Good before the show started. I bet both of them are hiding out tonight. Talk about embarrassing!

Back on Hot People Island, Michelle and Graham are screening some chick-flick in a hot tub. I’m ridiculously jealous. I’m jealous of her. I’m jealous of him. And I’m jealous of the hot tub.

Back at the mansion, Blake and Erica’s date card arrives. Their mission is romance. Anyone else not going to be surprised when Erica whips out a pair of handcuffs, roofies Blake and calls it a night? Her mission is to end up in the missionary position with Blake. God, I love her. What would this show be without Erica Rose? Sad and dramatic.

Tiaras on! Erica and Blake head to the Mission Inn spend the night chatting. Erica’s astrologer thinks she’ll be in the final two. Erica’s astrologer is also unemployed and homeless now. She then gives Blake’s thigh a vicious rash from rubbing it so harshly and focuses on his man jewels rather than learning about the history Mission Inn has to offer.

Erica really needs Blake in the mood, so she crushes up a few Xanex and sprinkles them in his champagne, just like pixy dust. Then she convinces Blake that because of her sexy lingerie, he needs to sleep with her and not go back to the mansion. Hopefully girls across America are currently taking notes on “Things Not To Do To A Man.” Although, I’m kind of wishing that Blake would sleep with her so that she’d shut up. (I planned to write that differently, but censored myself.)

The next morning, Erica and Blake ponder who to give the two extra roses to. Wait a minute – Did they have sex or not? They seem stressed. I’m guessing no. They finally decide to give the roses to Kasey and Vienna, because they’re apparently worthy. Blake and Erica’s deal is sealed.

Kasey and Vienna talk about what they’d do with the 250K if they won and he tells Vienna that no one needs to know his personal stuff. Right… Did that apply an hour ago when you were crying and bitching around the house about your non-existant sex life? Different?

Holly debates voting out Blake, but in the end, decides to spare Michael one less jab to the heart and lets Blake and Erica go. I’m REALLY going to miss Erica’s humor. No one will ever be as funny. The show will clearly lack humor.

So, we’re down to 4 couples – Who is your favorite for the win? Will you miss Erica so much also? Leave some comments!

One Way Ticket to Crazy Town!

Jake goes home. Is anyone surprised? That was the lamest cliffhanger I’ve ever witnessed. Although Jake promised us last week that he wasn’t leaving without taking other people down with him, he gives us a short speech which sounded like a haiku, and leaves. Some people thought Hurricane Irene was over-hyped, I think Jake’s exit was double over-hyped.

Kasey is pumped up because “the devil is gone.” I’m a bit confused because Vienna still seems to be there… Who knows. She immediately makes the night all about her, because what isn’t, and thanks the crew for getting rid of Jake.

The next morning, everyone wakes up and hopefully gives their teeth a serious brushing, following by the Listerine 60 Second Challenge (I’m sure Blake did), because it’s time for THE KISSING CONTEST! There is nothing more disgusting than kissing six people in a row, swapping spit left and right, sharing each others cooties. Ew. Apparently, the contestants from Bachelor Pad 1 enjoyed this competition the most. Does that surprise anyone? Remember the class of those individuals?

No one wants to compete in this challenge… Except Blake, obviously. Hopefully Melissa didn’t eat any of her famous onion pizza for breakfast because that’s sure to be an immediate disqualification. The girls are blindfolded first. The end game is that Blake rapes all of their mouths, except Vienna's because he feels Kasey guarding and protecting her lips from 5 feet away. All of the other guys respect Michael Stag’s love for his ex-fiance, but Blake goes right in for the kill.

Next up, the guys are blindfolded and Ella is winning this one for her son… Sounds creepy, but you get the jist. Apparently Kasey was too concerned about protecting Vienna and forgot to do the Listerine 60 Second Challenge that morning and had funkytown breathe. The thought of this is making me uncomfortable. (Sidenote: Biggest turn-off EVER) Holly and Michael make out, for the first time since their break-up, and then 30 seconds later, Holly shares Michael’s spit with Blake. For about 5 minutes. We all watch Stag’s heart break.

Time to tally up the votes. I bet this doesn’t come as a shocker! Ella and Blake win with an overwhelming majority… No suspense there.

Ella invites Kirk on her date… Again, no suspense. Kirk’s pumped up because he’s going out on a date with the best kisser in the house and Mama’s drivin! Kirk and Ella’s date is super-cute. They both seem like such stand-up individuals, class acts. Remind me what they’re doing on The Bachelor Pad. Ella and Kirk would have never believed that the Bachelor Pad would be this romantic. Me neither guys.

Back at the house, Melissa is telling Blake that they can win this thing together and is super pumped! Meanwhile, Blake knows that he isn’t inviting Melissa on his date. Awkward! He tells her that he isn’t sure yet. She thinks he isn’t sure about who they’re going to vote off, but really it’s about who he’s taking on the date. I feel serious second-hand embarrassment for Melissa. Someone needs to give this girl a clue. And fast!

On another note, my new favorite contestant impresses me once again – Erica. She decides to distress Blake by giving him a massage by the pool, breasts hanging out and all. Genius tactics Erica.

The date card arrives and Erica hopes to finish what she started during the massage. I’m not even going to go there. Then my favorite moment – When Melissa yells “We could be skiing!” No, no, Melissa. You will be doing anything of the sort – because he’s takin’ Holly!

Melissa goes bat-shit crazy and tears the house up. Michelle comes out with another favorite line, telling us that Melissa wears her heart on any article of clothing… Including her hairtie and her panties. Don’t visualize Melissa’s panties… Just don’t do it.

Melissa ferociously stirs up a yogurt like WHOA… Looks like she’s trying to whip it into something. At least she’s finally eating something? Blake on the other hand is completely calm. He’s actually doing his full teeth routine and asks Melissa to hold off while he finishes the last 40 seconds. I really wish there had been a timer (one of the ones with sand in it) to ice the cake. The best part of this is that Melissa actually waited! I would’ve ripped that toothbrush out of his mouth. She’s pathetic.

Blake and Holly go on their date and he’s thrilled that Melissa isn’t there with him. Holly proves to be a pretty terrible skier… Obviously Jesse Csincsak didn’t teach her much of anything during their relationship. Regardless, Blake is smitten. He’s never felt this way about anyone else. Really? It’s a crush. I started having those in pre-school.

Blake and Holly decide to spend the night on their date because neither want to head back to the mansion. This is where I think Holly crossed the line. I like Holly. And I understand that sometimes relationships just don’t work out. But don’t rub it in Michael’s face! Luckily, Kirk is throwing shots of whiskey down Michael’s throat. Good friend!

When Blake and Holly get back to the house, Michael literally runs in from outside. Someone needs to give him a pep-talk and tell him to move on and stop being so anxious. Michael can’t move on because he thinks that Holly is irreplaceable. Cute, but news flash: She is very replaceable. I think 1 million girls in America are dying to replace her right about now. Holly tells Michael that she and Blake kissed once. Right. And pigs fly.

At the cocktail party, Michael sets up a pseudo-date for Holly outside to win her over. It’s awfully sad. I hope this ends soon… I feel like I’m watching a Soap Opera.

Melissa is absolutely going bonkers because she thinks that she’s being voted out. Graham thinks that Melissa is draining the life out of him. In reality, she’s draining the life out of America. I feel so uncomfortable watching Melissa beg to stay. She has officially boarded the train to Crazy Town.

Melissa and William get the heave-ho. As much as I’m a William fan, no one is going to notice he’s gone. He had about 1 minute of cumulative screen time all season. I’m not quite sure why he’s crying in the limo though.

Melissa breaks down in the limo and shows us her cry face – not exactly a pleasant one. After a few minutes, she turns around and spares us from watching any longer. The house will definitely be different without her.

What’d you think of this week? Do you kind of love Erica now? Did you like Vienna more this week or was that only because she didn’t speak? Leave some comments!

Guard and Protect My Ass

Another week of Bachelor Pad and another week of ridiculousness. Did you know that Kasey is guarding and protecting Vienna’s heart? I’m not sure if that was stressed nearly enough in the episode. On to the drama…

The episode kicks off with a few words of wisdom from Kirk, who at this point appears to be one of the only “normal” people in the mansion. If Chris Harrison wasn’t such a staple, I think Kirk could actually pose a threat to him for his job. Kirk’s narration skills were top notch last night.

To continue their annoying bullshit from last week, Blake and Melissa continue to hash it out after the rose ceremony. Melissa wants Blake to apologize and be a man because she was upstairs crying for an hour. An hour? Melissa looks like she’s been on a month-long post-breakup binge, void of food, shampoo and sunlight. Either way, she has secured her one-way ticket to the Looney Bin.

All of the girls are “rallying” around Melissa, even Holly who openly admits to flirting with all of the boys in the mansion. Blake concludes that Melissa is a live wire on the ground waiting to snap. Newsflash Blake: You made out with the wrong girl.

Challenge Time

It’s time for the next challenge and the crew shows up with their game faces on. Unfortunately for Holly, someone ate the bottom of her shirt before the challenge. Vienna showed up ready for blood. She was on the swim team and knows she’ll be good at this challenge! Just like the bed challenge… Of course, you’re good at everything V!

While watching the practice rounds, I’d be surprised if Michael Stag doesn’t win for the guys – he’s a break dancer and has a glowing personality. Even though Jake has such phenomenal dance experience from his run on Dancing With The Stars. For the girls, it’s a toss-up, with the exception of Erica. Like she said, the closest thing that she’s done to synchronized swimming is tanning. Gosh, she’s so well rounded!

Everyone gets their swimmies and Speedos on and we’re introduced to our judges – some gold medalist, David Good and Natalie Getz. I wish David and Natalie could have stayed and kicked some of these other house guests out.

Also, how cool would it be if the girls routine involved drowning Vienna and Melissa?! Just kidding… Kind of. Unfortunately, it did not. And as Natalie said, it was god awful.

The guys are up and their routine is much more entertaining than the girls’. William and Graham should be automatically eliminated for wearing the heinous nose plugs. My favorite part of the synchronized swimming was noting all of the bright white thighs that the guys were sporting. Classic. Erica chimes in with her classy opinion – Jake should win because he has such a big package. Again, Erica securing her pig status in my book.

Michael and Michelle win the challenge and I hope this is a sign of things to come. They’re definitely two of my favorites. Since Jake lost, he makes it very clear that he’s willing to do anything to stay in the mansion. Even if that means making out with Erica!

Then again, we see a ridiculous fight between the Super Couple, Vienna and Kasey. Basically she’s being nice to the enemy and Kasey is not down with this because he spends all of his time guarding and protecting her. Doesn’t she see his tattoo and everything he stands for? GUARDING AND PROTECTING! I feel much dumber after watching this fight. Kasey asks Vienna if she wants another public break up on TV. I’ll tell you something Kasey, I’d sure love to watch that! He even calls her a fame whore… Well played sir. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that calling your girlfriend a fame whore would not be guarding and protecting her heart? Not sure though.

Dates

Meanwhile, back to the rest of the house that is getting robbed of quality airtime… Michelle takes Graham, Kasey and Blake on a date to a gorgeous vineyard to drink wine. Finally, a date that I’m incredibly jealous of! Michelle admits that she has a huge crush on Graham, but she doesn’t feel like he’s that into her. She should probably call Deanna to chat… Seems like a reoccurring problem for Graham and his ladies. Michelle thinks that if she and Graham find common ground, it’ll be amazing. Then they find that common ground, in each others tonsils.

Anyone notice a little bit of Michelle’s crazy eyes come out around Graham? Maybe she’ll give herself a black eye next.

Graham obviously gets the rose.

Back at the mansion, Holly is hoping that Michael doesn’t invite her on the date. Sure enough, he does. Michael and his ladies arrive in the Hollywood Hills and are surprised with a horseback riding date! Vienna will obviously be good at this too because… Well, use your imagination.

After the horses, Vienna and Ella bond over some sangria, while Michael and Holly continue to beat a dead horse (no pun intended). And again, watching Michael cry is brutal. Michael sends the other two girls home and then Brett Michaels shows up to serenade him and Holly. Blah blah, the end.

Back at the mansion, Jake and Blake are trying to save their asses by making out with girls that they wouldn’t touch with 10 foot poles in real life. Erica and Jake lay together by the pool and she rubs him. He pretends to like her. They make out, because Erica has great lips that she maintains every 6 months. I vomit all over my computer.

Super Couple is back to drive us a little more crazy and this time, Kasey brought a ring with him! Kasey gives a long speech about loving Vienna or something, but truthfully, I can’t understand a thing he says. Vienna cuts him off and says that she doesn’t want the ring to be an engagement ring. I can’t handle her. If Kasey had half of a brain, he’d shove that ring somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine and run for the hills. With that, Kasey secures his spot on next season’s American Idol. SIKE.

Potentially my favorite moment of the season happens next – When Erica crawled behind Melissa to eavesdrop on her conversation. She just gained serious points in my book. What a freak!

Rose Ceremony/Cocktail Party

Kasey mentions that he thinks Melissa is bat shiz f’ing crazy and she’s shaking. He doesn’t realize that it’s only malnourishment. She looks like she’s been punched in the face. Melissa doesn’t understand why her and Blake have been partners since Day 1 and now he doesn’t want anything to do with her romantically. He never did.

Melissa almost leaves but Jake convinces her to stay.

The only other interesting thing about the evening was Erica’s gavel. At first, I swore it was an ice cream scooper. Then I thought it was a fairy wand. She’s a whack job.

Jake mentions that if he gets voted off, he’s taking people out with him. I’m SO happy he got sent home! This is bound to be good drama.

The Mask comes back for a quick skinnydip and we’re left wondering who Jake is taking down with him. I don’t even know how I’ll last a full week!

Bachelorette Viewing Party!

Planning a viewing party in a few hours isn't exactly easy, but we pulled it off!

First item of business: Wine! And what better brand than Cupcake for TEAM CUPCAKE!?


Next up: Cupcakes! With beautiful red roses - duh!


How could we have a party without photos of JP & Ben? Look familiar?


And a fabulous group of friends & family to watch with! Sadly, Jenn Kamienski was not in this photo. Boo! I have to admit, for throwing this together in virtually an hour, our crew was solid!


On to the episode...

I have been Team JP since Day 1, but I have always really liked Ben. Last night was tough to watch. The finale, like always, was a bit slow. The worst part of it all was during the "After the Final Rose" when ABC decided to preview some ridiculous show for what seemed like forever. Bachelorette Buzzkill.

Some of the highlights/lowlights from last night:

Ashley's sister - Luckily, she apologized at the "After the Final Rose" and is now BFF with JP, but I thought her performance on the show was rough. If she was my sister and treated my possible fiance like that, I would have been livid. I think she crossed the line. It's one thing to be skeptical and a little tough, it's another to be flat out rude. She was incredibly close minded with JP.

Ben & Ashley - I could not believe what Ashley did to Ben. I really like her, but c'mon, how do you let a man get on his knee and propose? There were so many opportunities for Ashley to just say "Stop." She let him get his hopes up and proposing was so completely unnecessary. Deanna did this with Jason as well. It's just something about this show that I do not understand. Do the producers make the Bachelorettes do this? My heart broke.

Because Ben was rejected, we proceeded with this:


Sorry Ben :(


JP's Proposal - Did you cry? Because I shed a tear. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I loved this. The proposal was completely heartfelt and genuine and if you didn't see the love/passion between these two, you're blind. I REALLY hope they last!

TEAM JP!

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Good Morning America came out to film the party last night!


Not all of our footage made the segment, but my "Team JP" line did:


Not my most flattering screenshot, but I'll take it! Fame is fame.

If you haven't seen the segment, click here! It's great.

Thank you to everyone who kept up with my blog all season! Make sure to keep following me for Bachelor Pad 2 coverage!

Bachelorette Fantasy Suites - Let's Get Steamy!

I love the overnight date episode. Things finally move away from being deep and spiritual and turn a little more XXX. Ashley arrives in Fiji, gets out of a helicopter and miraculously does not pull a Britney. Girls got skills. Again, we recap her feelings of the remaining men. It took every ounce of control in me to not fast forward. Why does ABC insist on doing this each week? Give us more bloopers!

Uh oh… Ryan is back! He should have left his shirt back in the USA, along with the creepy stare he has plastered across his face. Ryan returns to tell Ashley that Wes has a girlfriend back at home and isn’t there for the right reasons. Oh wait, wrong season… Sorry about that! Ryan is back to tell her that he really felt a strong connection during their 15 minutes together and he’s been miserable since she kicked him to the curb. AKA Ryan stopped taking his Lexapro and the misery that is real life kicked in. Ashley is shitting bricks – total self esteem overload. Someone is finally madly in love with her and actually begging to come back! Oh how the tables have turned…

Ashley shows up to her date with Ben, probably a few hours late because of Ry. The two of them get to sail around Fiji on a gorgeous yacht and make out. Sounds like a great date to me! Ashley straddles Ben. I am happy. Finally, something steamy! Bring on the hot tubs next! They go snorkeling and float around the water. Ben says that he is floating and it feels great. He probably has gas.

At dinner, Ashley and Ben throw back a few Mai Tai’s, getting fully liquored up before it’s time for the Fantasy Suites. Ben tells Ashley that he’s completely available now. I think he really meant physically… After all, it is time for the Fantasy Suite. Ashley is so excited to show Ben the Fantasy Suite Card… And her goodies. They both decide to forgo their individual rooms and stay as a couple in the Fantasy Suite. If ABC ever changes the wording of the date cards (specifically forgo), I may forgo this show.

Back in the Fantasy Suite, Ashley and Ben go swimming. I was hoping for a skinny dip. They really let me down.

Morning rolls around and it’s time for Ashley’s date with Constantine. She has bed head from her wild night with Ben. I think Ben also ate half of her shirt. Constantine is rocking the Euro-Mullet, and boy what a fabulous sense of humor he has for noting that! Well played, sir. Ashley is shocked that Constantine has never been in a helicopter… I think that's normal.

Wait, pause. Is Ryan seriously standing on a sand dune looking up at her and Constantine? This show is genius. Wait, hold on. Now he’s in a cave pondering life. Brilliant.

Then Constantine and Ashley go to a waterfall. The wet rat look isn’t so great on Constantine. Ashley compares him looking at 108 houses to finding a wife. Way to over analyze him… These comparisons are not relevant! Ashley thinks it’s hard to read Constantine. I don’t think he likes her at all. Easy to read in my eyes.

Later that night, things get deep during dinner. Ashley doesn’t think that their relationship is progressing at the rate it should be. He’s not madly in love and ready to propose to her after only one month of group dating. Constantine would rather talk about Ben. Ashley is curious to know if it’s weird that he and Ben are dating the same girl. Constantine is thinking, “No. I’m just jealous that you got to spend a night in the Fantasy Suite with Ben and I didn’t.”

Ashley doesn’t feel loved. This is doomed. She wonders if he’s moving slowly because of the process… Yeah, maybe it’s the 5 cameras up in his face and the 2 up his ass. Just a thought! Well, it’s the end of the road for Constantine. With his exit, Ashley drinks the two fruity drinks, two glasses of wine, and heads alone to the Fantasy Suite. Once again, Ashley thinks about what might happen if she ends up alone. Don’t forget about Ryan!

The next morning, Ryan’s heart is beating out of his chest again. He obviously found his Lexapro and funneled 3 Red Bulls before seeing Ashley. I’ll put money on an upcoming endorsement deal from Ryan & Red Bull – Red Bull gives Ryan wings! Ashley dumps Ryan, again, and he’s defeated. ABC sets him up perfectly to be the next Bachelor… Ryan doesn’t think he’ll ever find love!

Time for Ashley to see her true love, JP! She is so much happier to see him than anyone else. They take a seaplane to a deserted island in Fiji… Remind anyone else of Ali and Roberto’s date in Bora Bora? Seems quite similar to me! Ashley and JP make out in the ocean for a few hours and JP tells her that he wants the whole thing to end. I’m really loving this episode… It’s getting hot!

Later that night, Ashley puts on her most bling-tastic earrings and is ready to play a cruel joke on JP… Telling him that she said goodbye to two guys this week. Why would you get his hopes up like that? I wish I could slap Ashley through the television. Dinner goes well, but the only thing I’m thinking about is the Fantasy Suite. Anyone else? JP tells Ashley that he needs a little something more. No kidding – That something can be found in the Fantasy Suite. It’s called sex.

The lovebirds head into the Fantasy Suite and Ashley puts on a sexy white button down and kicks out the camera crew. Cue porno music.

Why must we have a rose ceremony? Oh right, because Ashley needs another confidence boost… She needs to know that the two remaining men love her back. Ashley and Chris have a quick one-on-one session and she has a serious post-sex glow across her face.

At the rose ceremony, Ben finds out that Constantine left. He’s crushed, heartbroken, probably wants to walk out and go find his love. But, he accepts the rose.

Who’s excited for the finale next week? Who is your pick for the win? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Takes Taiwan!

I’m going to start out by addressing one of the most serious issues of the evening… Ames’ clothing choices. The first problem: ADIDAS pants went out of style in 1999. The second: If you’re going to wear them, WHY with a plaid shirt? C’mon Ames. You’re killing me here.


We’ll address the second problematic outfit shortly. Moving on…

We kick off the episode with Ashley recapping her feelings on each of the remaining men and with Chris Harrison letting them know that four of them will be the “Fortunate Four.” Never heard that one before… What happened to Final Four?

Constantine gets the first 1-on-1 date. If I was Ryan, I’d be popping a Lexapro right about now. Ashley and Constantine board their train and I’m wondering if this could end up like Robby D. in Jillian’s season, where she kicked him off the train and left him on the side of the road. Luckily for Constantine, this was not an elimination/rose date. The two of them paint their love wishes on a lantern. I caught a glimpse of what they really said…

• Ashley’s: I hope that I can stop faking my affection for these other guys and just end up with JP soon.
• Constantine’s: I hope that my bromance with Ben lasts forever and forever. (BF + CT = Love 4EAE)

The night portion of their date is boring, as usual. I really like Constantine… He’s normal, isn’t falling head over heels yet, and seems to be a stand-up dude. This means that he’ll never win. In Bachelor land, you must already be crazy in love to stand a chance.

Ben gets the next date. Ryan is now overdosing on Lexapro, while JP is beginning his freakout session. Ashley and Ben ride on their mopeds around Taiwan and Ben thinks that it feels natural to have Ashley’s legs wrapped around him. Now we’re talkin!

Back at the hotel, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date card and does some creepy elbow move to celebrate. WTF was that? Anyone have any explanations? Ryan has a “whole bunch of energy running through him and he can’t turn it off.” Jesus Christ Ryan, lay off the drugs! Watching him gives me severe anxiety.

Anyways, back on the date, Ben is totally confident that he’s getting a hometown date. I would be too if I was a winemaker. Ashley is obviously going to choose day of wine tasting rather than learning about solar powered energy. Ben also refers to love as the L-Bomb which scores major points in my book. He’s a nerd and I like it. I think they’re very cute together. If JP wasn’t on the show, Ben would probably have a good chance.

While getting ready for the group date, the guys realize that Ben hasn’t come home. JP is borderline raging and wants to kick Ben’s ass when he gets home. Ben managed to get right under JP’s skin when he got back, avoiding giving the guys any details of why he was gone overnight. I’m sure his beanie made it even more frustrating.

Time for another really stupid date by ABC – a wedding photo shoot! Why?! One of the best lines of the evening goes to JP for comparing Ames to an “offspring of an ostrich and Elton John.” Genius. This whole date is weird. JP looks great. Ames looks like a freak. And Lucas is in perfect character, looking uptight and kind of scary as usual.

The evening is just as awkward. Love Ashley’s green dress… or shirt… whichever it really is. Now it’s time for Ames’ second fashion offense…


What shade would you consider these pants? Washed too many times cherry red? Pepto? Magenta? Whatever they are… They are wrong.

FINALLY, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date and his heart is beating out of his chest again. Oh man. The date starts out with another spiritual activity… throwing some rocks on the ground and hoping they come up opposites. I’m really sick of these mushy spiritual activities. Can we try something a little more raunchy? What happened to hot tub make out scenes? C’mon! I'm so ready for the Bachelor Pad.

Ryan goes on a tangent about heating water and Ashley knows they’re doomed. She’s not green, litters and leaves the faucet on while brushing her teeth. Time for Ryan to go home. But wait, don’t you feel bad for this face? He’s shocked! Sad! Heartbroken! BREAK OUT THE LEXAPRO! CALL THE ABC PSYCHOTHERAPIST! BRAD WOMACK – WHERE IS YOUR SHRINK? WE NEED HIM!


I will say that Ryan shouldn’t have been so surprised. They never had a 1-on-1 date until this point which is a clear sign. With that said, I still feel bad for him. He does not take it so well. His exit was pretty brutal to watch.

The rest of the episode is a bore. Ashley knows that she’s sending Lucas home so we’re able to skip over the cocktail party and make time for the Emily/Brad saga. Lucas goes home and I’m not sad. Kind of relieved, but I will say… He took it like a man and was a real gentleman. I've been pretty hard on Lucas this season... I doubt he'll become a fan of my blog.

I didn’t have time to watch the Emily confessions. I’m saving that for tonight! Which means, another blog post tomorrow! Hoorah!

So, which hometown date are you most excited for? Do you think Ryan has a shot at being the next Bachelor? Leave some comments!